Navigating Dating and Insecurities After a Divorce

I feel compelled to say something to all this insecurities out there on weight. I was well over 300 lbs. I left my ex husband after finding out for the last time he cheated. it's a blow to feel the pain of that and feel to the core you are not enough. Well folks I woke the heck up... I am enough, maybe not for him, but I sure as heck am for me. I started dating. I was experiencing the divorce diet and lost over 100 lbs. in a year.... purely by stress. Then I met someone who had to move mountains to convince me I was amazing... after all of I wasn't enough for my first marriage and I still was insecure about myself new guys would say anything right? WRONG!!!! Unbeknownst to me there's a whole world out there of men who love a "healthy Queen" sized woman. I never realized. And what a comedian for God to enter this man in my life who would love the old me! Now I'm rebuilding and merging the old me with the new me. It's a process, but I'm confident in who I am. Sure I still have days my mind returns to my insecurities but I look at it from a different perspective now.... the other side. A nice lady recently asked how to navigate dating these days. May I be so bold to challenge ladies to listen, really hear the said and unsaid from a few men. I've dated and have heard quite similar stories of how they feel they must meet certain criteria for anyone to even entertain a discussion and even then that's ONLY if they pass the visual test. Let's face it , if we just took a moment and approached dating from the standpoint that we want to "meet people to hang out with and be friends" what's the worse that can happen? Create a solid foundation to live off of? Find our special person in a new best friend? Isn't that a significant factor why prior generations had a lower divorce rate? Ladies, stop window shopping for the prettiest new thing on the market and open your horizons to people who fit in your "circle". You just might find your "forever" person in the bunch. Find someone REAL! Someone who has experienced life and understands the consequences as well as the rewards. They are out there... they have been waiting, they are sorry in so many ways similar to us. They just have a hard time expressing it. Give em a chance, make a friend or 2 and you will always have someone who has your back.