Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder: Seeking Support

Seeking Advice on Borderline Personality

ive been suspecting that i have borderline personality disorder since i was 12. my mom never listened to me though. i officially self diagnosed myself this year after my friend told me “a medical diagnosis is just a conformation of what you already know”. i struggle with every single symptom of borderline and some (depression and panic disorder which are both medically diagnosed). im struggling to find a therapist. so i need ways to help cope with my symptoms: sleep, energy, depersonalization, abandonment issues, etc… i need validation that im not a bad person and im not abusive. ive hurt people on accident but never on purpose. it makes me feel very guilty and ashamed of myself. now im a massive people pleaser and i stretch myself to make sure people like me. i try to get over it but it makes me feel like an a-hole. any tips?

Hey guys, I've recently realized I have Borderline after starting with a new psychiatrist and seeing that literally every thing I read about it matches up to what I experience. It's been incredibly overwhelming, lately I've especially been struggling with intense anger, fear of abandonment, acting recklessly and impulsively, and strong dissociation as well, just not feeling like I'm real or I'm in my surroundings. Not being connected to myself. Some of the previously mentioned things show up as angry outbursts, driving when I'm emotional and when doctors have recommended i don't, negative thoughts, binge eating, eating things that are bad for me in excess, and being so scared people will leave me that it's almost like I'm trying to beat them to it and leave first even though all I want is them to stay. I don't know how to handle any of this, and I'm not sure if it's all BPD but if anyone has experienced anything like this and has discovered anything that tends to help I would love to hear. I do have a therapist and psychiatrist but there just never seems to be enough time to talk about all of my issues so it never feels like quite enough. Sorry for how long this is, TLDR: overwhelmed by intense bpd symptoms and looking for support/advice on how other people manage their symptoms.