dogdad13

152d

my friend was recently diagnosed with BPD, depression, and GAD, and I was diagnosed with depression 10 years ago and GAD about 5 years ago. She seems to express a lot of the same things I felt when I started my journey with depression, and I try to give her advice on what helped me get to the point where I've been stable for a few years now, but she just will not take it. And that's fair, that's her choice and our experiences are of course different so what helped me might not help her, but it's so frustrating to be trying to help and have her just dismiss me. Our friend group talks on discord most nights and I want us to be able to be a safe space for her to vent, but it's starting to affect my mental health now too. I don't know how to create boundaries without making her feel like I'm outcasting her

Depression

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • Persephone_Zed

    152d

    I struggle with this a lot too in my Discord and other online spaces. I have tried to talk to friends about this with some success and failures. A good first step may be to broach the topic when she’s in a stable state, asking her if she wants help/advice when she talks to you, or if she wants someone to silently listen and say “man that sucks.” A lot of people only want the latter. Now, if you’re like me and struggle with the latter, then it may be time to explain that. That’s a tough situation with a lot of nuance though and I’d be happy to discuss further

  • Doglover25006

    152d

    I’m not sure which facet of this exactly is affecting your mental health, but I have a friend who has become family who was talking about traumatic experiences in their life with me to the point that it was affecting my mental health. My therapist helped me set the boundary with him of him telling me how he’s feeling rather than the details of the traumatic experience that lead to his feelings and that’s been helping us. He still gets support from me and I’m not spiraling.

    • dogdad13

      151d

      she's in a similar spot I was years ago where she's always like "life sucks, I wanna die, I'm not good at anything, no one would care if I was gone, etc" and I want to help her but the longer I listen to her talk like that the more I can feel myself slipping back

  • allycat128

    151d

    Talk to them and let them know that. Something along the lines of: I've noticed that we have some similarities and I'd love to offer you help/advise about what has helped me if/when you're open to it. And ask them to let you know when you talk if they want help/solutions or if they want to vent.

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