Possible DID/OSDD diagnosis, but too scared to find out

I’m not diagnosed with DID bc I’m too scared to get the diagnosis because of my kids. But I’m not sure if it’s something like DID or OSDD. Sometimes I have amnesia but sometimes I don’t. I have 16 head mates though. Some seem like just “extensions” of one head mate and others are very different with their thought process, personality, etc. and I just kinda wanted to tell someone who might understand idk.