Struggling with BPD and Relationships

I understand that. Me and my ex gf broke up after a year and a half because it had gotten really toxic and I couldn't control how extreme I felt. But while we were dating I never wanted to leave them or them leave me because I thought they were my end all be all. It's scary but sometimes it's best to go your own way and make sure you're okay mentally.

Something I have developed as a strategy to combat splitting is challenging my thoughts. I examine what I am thinking and/or saying and ask myself "Is there any concrete real world evidence of what I am thinking?" Splitting, as I understand it, comes from our inability to hold two dissonant thoughts simultaneously, essentially leading to "black or white"/ "All good or All bad" thinking. When we begin to challenge this notion, we can sometimes gain insight into why we are in a split and how best to proceed.

I get where you're going through my relationships with friends aren't the best either it's I want them to stay but at the same time I self isolate at times and want them to go away. It's hard because I feel I don't have connections with people anymore.

I’m lucky to be with someone who is very accommodating toward me with my BPD symptoms. He has been so supportive and has done so much research on the condition so that he can better help and understand me. I feel so lucky to have found someone like this I feel like it might be a little rare

agreed, all my relationships have been a wreck and it was hard to accept it was caused by me. i got lucky and ended up with someone who legitimately loved and was more than willing to work with me, but i still managed to screw it up lol. the splitting and all of that feels like a curse tbh, i would give everything to wake up one day and just be different