Struggling with feeling like I don't exist for myself

I have these thoughts everyday❤️

Oh I’ve absolutely felt like this! Maybe still do for the most part. I can only speak to what works for me… but it helps for me in those darker moments to not try to predict my own future, to not try to assume that I’ll be alone later in life or that everyone will leave me or die and it’ll just be me left. I wouldn’t have been able to predict that THIS is where I’d be at this stage in my life so why should I assume I’ll know where I’ll be in 20 years? But as for the moments right now, I actually try to use the whole “living for others” thing as a benefit. Because through the lens of my depression I really can’t come up with an important enough reason for me to want to stay in this world for me. But I make it through each moment and each hour thinking of how sad my friends/family would be if I left and all the loose ends they’d have to tie up. I think another important point is that you don’t necessarily need to come up with some grand idea that gives your life purpose for the next however many decades until you die. You just need to come up with a reason to get you through this moment, and then the next moment, and the moment after that, until you look up one day and realize that those moments are occurring farther and farther apart. And if your reason is to live for others, than use it to your benefit! You can still use others as a way to get to tomorrow while you take time separately to figure out what you want from life.

If you ever need someone to talk to about this I'm always available. I want to be able to help ya. And I can understand where your coming from in this

I recently felt this in the last few days. Doing everything for everyone else and nothing for myself.