Feeling Crabby and Hard on Myself

the only plan i have is by myself swinging on the swings, high asf, listening to music. thats such an old plan this is the thing u get when your crabby to everyone about everything and your not chill. when your chill u get invited to things. also i get very shaming thoughts. im always shaming myself for mistakes ive made and lessons ive learned. im always so hard on myself. and it doesnt even help me it just hurts. like i carry a worried look on my face almost all the time and who does it help. i just hope that when i go out i can feel refreshed and come with a new sense of being. any sort of renewual or rebirth. cus i feel like where i am right now is not very influencial or inspiring.