Dating with BPD: Is Finding Love Possible?

I’ve actually tried to push my partner away and break up with them. But they don’t budge they love me and they know I’m only trying to self destruct.

Keep learning to be the best YOU. also something that saved my ass was making a list of Green Flags. For my to be SO. not what I was looking for but what would make for a safe healthy relationship.

Same. They say it will be ok. That will always be there. Until, it disrupts their life. Then they leave. They always leave.

bro im exactly in your shoes down to the age?! this is creepy! mine was a year exact and turned into a 4 year situationship!! im turning 24 and i “broke up” with them at 19. we are twins. i’ll be reading the comments with u 😭

I am 28 and met my partner 8 months ago ❤️ our relationship is tumultuous but we balance each other very nicely. He is patient, open, and understanding about all conversations regarding borderline along with any other comorbidities. Even when it takes some time to work things out, we always do. A year ago, I wrote almost exactly what you wrote in your original post on twitter. I felt very alone and helpless….especially in love. I felt like I wasted time with abusive men in situationships and didn’t save my patience for my future spouse 😥 one thing that I believe helped me get out of the cycle of dating psychologically, mentally, verbally and physically abusive men is being upfront about my symptoms without naming the disorder. It helped me stay in a mindful space and measure my partner’s behaviour changes effectively and not from a place of emotion or defense from stigma. Once I felt comfortable with my partner, labelling symptoms as they happen as romantic quarrels in pre-marital counselling seemed so much more affirming and like I was being seen as a human being and not a “problem” like in past relationships. Staying in individual counselling, making and meeting goals, and having a non-biased person to chat with weekly have been my second saving grace. I was so prepared when I mentioned couple’s counselling 3 months into my relationship and my partner said YES. If I ever find myself searching for a partner again in the future, couple’s/pre-marital counselling will be non-negotiable in qualifications for dating. Couples counselling helps sooooo much in couples where borderline is present. I regret not starting sooner! Now that I have experienced dating an emotionally, financially, sexually, and mentally stable human being my standards have been even more clearly defined. I am NEVER going back. Individual counselling helped see me through all of these changes. I fully believe in you and your ability to use your disorder as a STRENGTH and not allow it to defeat you. You will find love ❤️ You will learn lessons on YOUR time schedule and not on the timeline that social media, our parents, etc plan out for us. You are not late. You will have success and learn from your mistakes. Falling in love quickly is painful most of the time but I learned to use it as a skill and I believe you will learn to use all of your borderline traits as skills in time ❤️ stay dedicated to getting better ❤️

listen honey, i was in the same boat. my ex literally left me because they "couldn't handle this anymore" but the person i'm with now has expressed their undying love and has done everything in their power to ensure that i stay as happy as possible, even with bpd. because we have boundaries setup for it. it's hard sometimes because he has adhd, but he really does try his hardest.

Hi, I have BPD and some other mental health things going on and I’ve been in a relationship for almost 6 years now. I think you need to find someone patient and kind and someone willing to learn about the disorder or at least help you through the dark times. I honestly understand how it feels to not know whether someone wants you or not but you will get there just find someone with patience, trust and an understanding nature and you will be fine! Keep your head up and you’ll find them

You are deserving to be loved, and there is no entering the game too late, we all learn at different paces even if we feel like it takes us longer than others. I have severe depression and often felt like I could never find a partner who had the patience for me. But I did, he is patient and has been wonderful and makes me want to be a better person

My boyfriend is very patient. He understands my issues and he’s kind, understanding and gives me time. He helps me get better independently, for me and not for him. He supports me when I’m anxious because he’s busy or unavailable. He’s all I could’ve hoped for after the abusive men I’ve been with before. You’ll find your one, I promise