Hey alike fam, could use some advice. This morning I was playing with my son and he told me his stuffed animal wanted a hug. My husband happened to be walking by and he said to our son “(stuffed animals name) isn’t real. It doesn’t want anything.” And my son just looked down and I immediately said to my husband “why would you say that?” And he got upset because he felt like I was getting after him first thing in the morning. Our son is 4 years old and it’s not uncommon for kids his age to humanize stuffed animals and have imaginary friends. To me it felt like he was bullying his son and it triggered me because when I was a kid I was told all the time that I was stupid for having imaginary friends and talking to my stuffed animals. It just seemed like unnecessary aggression but now my husbands upset with me and I’m angry at him. Have any advice?
I get told the same thing! It's so annoying because, everyone else gets to have natural human emotions AND express them, but when we do it, we get told we are overreacting, sensitive etc.
I got told a lot I need therapy just because I was upset with something and instead of holding in my anger, I told people how I felt. Been called mean because I know how to articulate myself and people didn't know how to deal with that.
I agree that that was wrong. It was unnecessarily mean to your son when he is playing pretend and honestly, could have been projecting that he wanted a hug too. I would definitely try to talk with your husband about it, but he may just start arguing back. I obviously don't know him, so . . . Yeah. I'd try to explain that he's just a kid and that it wasn't funny what he did.
I will admit I did get too aggressive too fast. He has a lot of trauma involved with expressing his emotions. He would often get in trouble for his emotions and be told he was wrong for experiencing them. It’s hard to explain things from an emotional side to him.
In that moment, your husband was being a bully to your son. It was misplaced and not okay. Your son saying his stuffed animal wanted a hug was such a pure, kind and natural thing and your husband turned it into this negative moment.
I would ask your husband "is there something wrong?" "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
"I understand that we know the stuffed animal isn't real, but what was wrong with our son having a pure, fun and loving moment? Did that trigger you and if so, can you explain why?
Doesn't have to be those exact words, but then that way his defense is down and he will be more willing to hear how you feel and how that may have made your son feel. And also maybe get him to open up to you about something he hasn't told you before.
I’ll definitely try to use those words. It’s a hard line to walk when my emotions are so high that I just want to stop his behavior for the sake of our son.
I definitely understand that. But using your softness is how you will stop his behavior for your son and to get him to want to protect you by watching how and what he says to you and to your son. It works every single time with me and my man. Being soft even when you're mad takes practice, but it is so worth it and it's powerful.
So I'm an adult and I carry a stuffed animal wherever I go. Studies show that carrying a stuffed animal or personal item greatly reduces stress and anxiety. There is no shame in having a favorite stuffed animal and taking it places.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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Ms.Piggie
18d
Hey alike fam, could use some advice. This morning I was playing with my son and he told me his stuffed animal wanted a hug. My husband happened to be walking by and he said to our son “(stuffed animals name) isn’t real. It doesn’t want anything.” And my son just looked down and I immediately said to my husband “why would you say that?” And he got upset because he felt like I was getting after him first thing in the morning. Our son is 4 years old and it’s not uncommon for kids his age to humanize stuffed animals and have imaginary friends. To me it felt like he was bullying his son and it triggered me because when I was a kid I was told all the time that I was stupid for having imaginary friends and talking to my stuffed animals. It just seemed like unnecessary aggression but now my husbands upset with me and I’m angry at him. Have any advice?
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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision