Can I ask why the insulin pump in particular has you feeling this way? I see you've tagged T1 as well as T2 - have you only recently become insulin dependent? The reason I ask is because I switched from injections (4-6 daily on avg) to a pump earlier this year and the change was so positive for me. I felt like I was so better equipped to maintain control of my blood sugars. The pump (in conjunction with the dexcom, which I started at the end of 2020) have been game changers for me. To be honest, I remember feeling hopeless and negative about my diabetes mostly in my childhood and teens, but as an adult I don't necessarily find myself having existential crises around it anymore. I was diagnosed when I was 7 so I don't even remember specifically what life was like on a daily basis before I was diagnosed. Were you diagnosed in childhood or as an adult? I'm not sure of your journey or the diagnoses that you've tagged in the post, but I assume that as T1 that this condition is forever for you as it is for me. I recommend seeking to work on your depression so that you're able to come to a better perspective that you can live with given the fact that this condition is one that we can not change - that probably doesn't sound helpful at all and I know that... But as someone who has struggled greatly both with my diabetes and my mental health, I do SO! understand how delicately intertwined depression/anxiety/diabetes are