pvssy.bac0n

214d

whenever i start feeling anxious or like im not in control over the situation i need to control, i lose it. i feel like everything is going wrong and suddenly i have bad luck from 3 years back slapping me in the face and it causes me to melt down.
i get so irritated with little things such as cleaning my room and realizing something is missing, or someone leaving stuff in my room and not picking it up. if i have to ask you to do something more than once and I still get to it before you do, i also get salty bc how hard is it to be responsible for what youre asked?
I have a short temper when it comes to liars and ignorance but sometimes its just flat out my fault and i act out of hand for sometimes no reason at all. If i misplaced something important, or something is too tight, it could send me into a “why is it always when..” moment….

Bipolar Disorder

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  • Or

    213d

    I have issues when I don’t feel in control and depending on mood and all that I can get that kind of irritability and be really mad at people that I don’t want to be mad at or just infuriated at the smallest thing, like not being able to find something or think someone is messing with my stuff. Also I generally get really irritated when people slack on responsibilities that I then have to take care of, but sometimes I get just furious about it. I really hate being angry at people and barely ever blow up at people, and I know I’m lucky to be able to control myself. Still, I really think it’s important to be able to release these emotions in a way that won’t really mess with your life. Screaming into pillows, punching a heavy bag (with gloves), writing it out, like fully letting loose on google docs, things like that can be helpful to get me to calm down enough to be more rational and feel calmer. Then, deep breathes, genuinely help me when I do them right. And then I can think and really consider the whole situation, look at where I’m wrong, what things I’ve blown out of proportion, what good things I am ignoring/what I can be grateful for, and what I can actually do about it. Something I say to myself is ‘feel your feelings head on, just always come back’. In general, it’s about damage control. Bottling stuff up is no better than exploding every time.

    • pvssy.bac0n

      211d

      i will do better at maintaining myself but these may actually help me because the only thing that helps me calm down is talking about it collectively

  • Candieperry

    213d

    I feel that way to like all the time and then certain people can even bring it out

  • phaed

    212d

    i also have an issue with feeling like i need to be in control, i’m not controlling over other people but i can’t handle not being in control of situations or myself in general

    • pvssy.bac0n

      211d

      me too!! its like theres a routine in my head constantly and if it’s disrupted im flippin

  • Lucas.exe

    211d

    I have something similar. Mostly noise related, I need noise I choose playing 24/7. If I can hear the tiniest amount of a phone call I have to listen to it because you sounds over eachother is irritating af. If my neighbors grand kids are over I will go into a full on meltdown because they are so loud. Ignorance pisses me off to no end. It is so easy to not do this thing, there is so many things warning you not to do these things, yet you do them, have the consequences, then get upset about them and want me to be sympathetic. I'm literally the world's biggest people pleaser and very rarely do anything bad or rude to people but that puts people on my bad side so quick. I also hate when people dont do the bare minimum of what they are supposed to do. I'm so mentally effed up yet I can do your job and mine you are fully capable of doing something right but they dont. WHYYYYY????? That last sentence is reading my mind. I always l know where my shoes are until I need to wear them.

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