OCD brain has a thousand thoughts the last 2 days. Really graphic troubling intuitive thoughts on repeat. Not engaging with them its just.... exhausting. I just.... its so exhausting. egodystonic and exhausting. I want to think of other things.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Ugh. I'm sorry. Intrusive thoughts and overthinking is the worst. I hope they go away soon. Do you have something you like to hyperfixate on? I found that helps me a bit.
i was thinking a good distraction could help. Hard to shift focus sometimes ya know? Especially when the thoughts are so loud
Yeah, I get that. Long projects like writing or art or whatever you're interested in that are easier to just get going on are better. For me, after a few minutes of drawing while listening to music I'm completely absorbed by it. Have you ever tried listening to white noise? It weirdly helps. But I'm only speaking from experience, yours may be totally different
if you like crafting, you should look into messy journaling where people create literally anything on papers with no thoughts
I noticed something you noted in the post that I do a lot, and I'm hoping pointing it out can help both of us -
You mentioned intrusive thoughts and followed with "not engaging with them." I do this too - "I'm having these terrible thoughts BUT I'm not engaging with them." I find though that when I do this, I'm shaming myself for thoughts out of my control, AND making these real rules to try to prove that I'm in the wrong
The issue is that, by the nature of my ocd, my rules will get stricter and stricter. Now, I think I'm a monster for thinking about thinking about the thoughts that are intrusive.
The whole point of this is to say - yes, it's very exhausting and I'm sorry you're going through this. Remind yourself that these thoughts are not *replacing* engaging with the acts these intrusive make you think; you wouldn't do this stuff in the first place. I'm still new in this journey, so maybe you're already way passed this!!
thank for taking the time and energy to tell me about your experiences! I wanna clarify by nonengagement I dont mean judge or stopping the thoughts or relaxing them or any mental gymnastics. Its more "humm..idk. that could happen. That might suck. I never get to know for sure." Its very neutral and I've never felt like I've judged myself for the thoughts regardless how disturbing OCD can be. Deep down I know they aren't 'me', im not my thoughts. Nonengagement in this way has been profoundly helpful for me because when anxiety comes with "what if you did THIS!?!" And I casually respond "idk, could be. Who knows." Its like the anxiety is disarmed. It doesn't have a second point to make. What was bothering me the most the past few days is the frequency. It ebbs and flows and there are decent weeks and hellish weeks. Ive lost sleep to the thoughts the past 3 days and I'm sure that lack of sleep isn't doing my mind any favors.
Replacing* not relaxing them. I intentionally do not replace the bad thoughts with good ones.
I have tons of intrusive thoughts. Probably half my ocd+worries/paranoia, and half highly disturbing (sometimes images too). Still don’t know how to cope better. I try to ignore them but that typically doesn’t work. Even though I’m sure I wouldn’t do the thoughts/like the stuff in the thoughts, they still make me feel like I’m a horribly vile person.
for what its worth many studies show that people with those awful thoughts are often the kindest and most gentle people.
I'm sorry you relate.
I promise it does it easier.
I feel that. I often think about how I should not even be on this earth or should not be around any other person because of the thoughts I think- even if I would never do anything, and even if it makes me feel uncomfortable and like I’m going to throw up thinking about it it still happens. I can’t really just ignore it personally I have to constantly distract myself, I can’t have silence and I’m almost always double tasking so my brain can switch between things and redirect when my thoughts get too much. I noticed weed in excess can also make it a lot worse.
that sounds incredibly difficult and draining. I hope over time you are able to engage with it little by little so you don't have to hide in your own life from your own life. We have never met, but I believe you are a kind person.
exactly! I haven’t tried weed yet, but I definitely relate to everything else you said
I know what you mean. The intrusive thoughts that don't leave.. washing dishes is like a fight with me. It's like I'm my worst enemy and I see it and can't stop it 😭
last night I really wanted to check the oven and front door again but choose not to. Little victories
😥 I'm sorry. One day at a time.
I feel this SO hard recently! I wish I could make them stop like I used to be able to.
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