Feeling Hopeless and Alone: My Struggle with Mental Health

i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im at my lowest and im so tired of the thoughts that are always in my head. i feel like my friends dont actually like me. i feel like i try harder to stay connected than everyone else yet im still alone. i keep changing my opinions on things left and right and im just so confused. ive been on venlafaxine and prozac for the longest time now- without missing a dose- and it doesn’t do anything now except make me think of death. my therapists and psychiatrist stopped working for me so im looking for new ones but its just so hard. i cant find a job, i cant find a partner, i cant find peace, i cant find a good doctor, and i cant find out wtf is wrong with me. i now doubt all of my diagnoses from my previous psychiatrist because of the way she treated me. i just feel hopeless, american health care is not nearly cutting it. i cant even go to the mental hospital because my family is poor.