dambi

59d

i've been developing feelings towards someone and having a hard time figuring out if they're real or not. i can't tell if i am "in love" with them(for lack of a better term) or in love with the idea of them. it's really been messing with my head, and i don't know if it's my B1 or what...

it's like one moment, i'm certain, and the next, i'm doubtful of myself and what i'm feeling.. is this normal?

Bipolar Disorder

Anxiety (Including GAD)

View all
  • bluejjayy

    59d

    I've had the same issue with my current partner, its hard to know whether what you're feeling is you or your illness sometimes. One thing that helped me was taking a step back and asking myself how I'd feel or what would it feel like to go about life without them. Knowing if you're "in love" is pretty hard, but I would say give yourself time to figure it out and if you're close with them maybe talk about it?

    • dambi

      59d

      i'd love to talk to them about it. However, i'm terrified it'll ruin our friendship, and on top of that, they've said they aren't looking. *sigh* There's just a lot of things keeping me from at least trying. One of them is doubting what I feel.

      • bluejjayy

        59d

        that ones difficult, if youre able to talk with someone about it, it doesnt have to be them specifically but that might help! As for knowing how you feel, it took me a while to figure it out, but it was mainly lots of questions and researching.

  • Kefi

    59d

    i've definitely been through this :( i usually have a hard time grasping my own feelings and it truly does take time and consideration when it comes to figuring them out. everyone's perception of "love vs in love" (if that perception even exists for them) is so drastically different and it makes it hard to know where to start.

    • dambi

      58d

      exactly... it's just discouraging me as i doubt, if what i'm feeling is genuine, they'll ever be reciprocated :T

      • Kefi

        58d

        yeah i understand that entirely. if you ever need to talk it out more, i'm here for you 🫶🏾 good luck

  • WhiteFlamingo

    58d

    I have been through this with everyone I had feelings for. I believe it's from my OCD. I have to be absolutely certain that I REALLY like them, or else I must be leading them on and a bad person as a result. That is, that's what goes through my head - it's not true. Even with my boyfriend of almost four years, I still find myself wondering sometimes if I REALLY like him, or if I'm just using him. The thing is, just about everyone goes through a phase of liking the idea of someone before actually liking them, especially if you don't much relationship experience. When you first start spending time with someone, all you know is what's on the surface. All you have is an idea of them. When you start going deeper into each other's lives is when you start liking who they really are. You start liking the real them when you're no longer just chatting over coffee and instead having deep, personal conversations about your hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities. When you call the other for support in a bad time. When you get a sense of their morals and what they think is right and wrong. Sometimes people never move out of the "idea" phase. I have certainly experienced that. But you can move past that phase by just being around them. Pay attention. Notice when you hold them on a pedestal and try to rethink the situation. Be curious about them. And most importantly, try not to dwell too much on exactly how you feel. That only muddies the whole experience. That's hard to do, but I've found that focusing on learning more about the other person helps.

    • dambi

      58d

      i will definitely keep this mind, i appreciate the response. :)

  • DitsyDiabetic

    58d

    Just came here to say i still feel like this sometimes but I’ve been with my wife 5 years 😭😭😭

    • dambi

      58d

      that's sprt of comforting? to know it happens in long term relationships with some of us. if that makes sense (´~` ;)

      • DitsyDiabetic

        56d

        yeah it’s a bp1 symptom for sure. Taken me a WHILE to come to terms with it.

  • Coke

    58d

    Honestly if you think you’re gonna find the perfect partner let alone perfect human in the most peace bringing way they do not exist and it sounds like you need to acknowledge yourself and your feelings and the flow state of duality of submissive of self care and time I feel like quarantine has really made us neglect ourselves in a weird way with isolation but not satisfying isolation as well as satisfying comfort ability in a relationship

  • dambi

    56d

    ik the perfect relationship doesn't exist... or at least i want to say i do. it's just a whole mess in my head

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.