Way*

I know exactly what you mean. And it is definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life, if not THE hardest because you live your entire life thinking a certain way (for me it's 30+ years) and now you're trying to undo all that you know or feel in order to try to get your life on a different track or to move in a different direction. So yeah, that's pretty damn hard to unwire especially considering the brain is still the least understood organ in our bodies (I don't know how else to word that last sentence so I hope it made sense lol)

I went and looked at your profile, you're between 30-32 and you have been trying to retrain your brain for 5 years. 5 vs 32 - give yourself more time honey cuz it may take a whole nother lifetime to fully retrain your brain. Do NOT beat yourself up over it.

Does every human being learn math best with the same methods? No. There are people who learn fractions with a song and people who learn them with a visual pie metaphor, because different people learn in different ways. The same holds true for mental health. You can't really compare your progress to that of anybody else because you learn in different ways, and life has given you different "teachers." There's no rule that says "because you have XYZ, you need XYZ to treat you." People are complicated, there are no quick fixes, and most mental illnesses are chronic diseases.

I understand what you're saying. I have been able to stop automatic negative thoughts and retrain my brain through its neuroplasticity. I practiced stopping the negative automatic thought and the more I practiced the easier it became. Eventually my automatic thoughts became positive more often. I trained and conditioned my brain to have healthier thoughts.

I think the fact that you are even asking this question is proof your training is working even when it doesn't feel like it. For me it's like I didn't even know my thoughts were anxiety and depression talking, if that makes sense. Now I can recognize it and "challenge" those thoughts.

Another recommendation for you: the beginning of trying to retrain my brain started years ago and I didn't seem to make much progress. About 5 years ago, I decided to try something extra. I might not always identify the thinking that would turn me into a depression or rather deepen it, but, when I started to realize that I was in that downward phase, I would do something very. Caesar Milan and shock myself out of it. I might go to a random karaoke bar, pick a song that I knew really well and get up there and belt it out in front of strangers. Certainly clears the anxiety and depression away. Or if it was summer, go grab my swimsuit and find the nearest public body of water you can actually swim in legally... Lol and go jump in. The concept really boils down to picking something that is completely and as much as possible off kilter from anything you normally do. The sheer strangeness of it, the utter left turn in reality stands a very good chance of helping you correct course. If nothing else, they make really good conversation starter. Lol

I totally understand this!! It is really hard to retrain your brain. And, if you don't continually practice it, you loose it and revert back to old ways. It's so frustrating! I find that DBT is easier for me than CBT. It's the same concept, just applied differently.

EMDR therapy has been the answer for me after attending CBT therapy for 7 years. Technology has also been a huge factor for me. We are fed negativity constantly on social media. In fact, I love using this app more than FB but my fingers automatically go to open the FB app out of habit when I’m bored. I turn off my notifications so I’m not sold to every waking moment. I also downloaded positive affirmation/mindfulness/planner apps etc to keep my goals in focus and keep a constant flow of positivity in my line of sight. It takes sooo much repetition. But eventually, you can and will form a new neural pathway that will eventually feel as normal as the not so great one’s right now. There are also some things you can’t outthink and I made the mistake of thinking I could and avoiding medication for a long time. But the medication has increased my ability to participate better in therapy and utilize the skills I learn.