Dealing with Overwhelming Anger and Frustration

Have you ever just been so incredibly angry at someone but there’s literally nothing you can do about it?? I’m literally shaking and I feel sick to my stomach because of how mad I am at someone. I’m mad for myself and on my best friend’s behalf at this point, cause I know they’d be upset too but they aren’t here. This anger is getting so overwhelming and I have no clue what to do. I don’t WANT to be angry at this person, but I am. I can’t tell if the reasons I’m angry are even real at this point, or if our brain is just pointing out all these things that don’t even matter so I have something new to be mad at everyday. All I am is just hate and anger right now, those emotions are so much stronger than all the others and I don’t know how to deal with it. I know I’m gonna end up snapping and lashing out at this person sometime when I know I shouldn’t and when I know I don’t mean some of the things I say. But there’s literally nothing I can do to help ease this all. The only solution I had to all this anger was just simply being next to my friend and just spending time with them, but they’ve been dormant for just over a month now (Due to stupid system problems, I hate this place sometimes). I don’t know what to do without them. I just want to be with them, I feel like if I got to see them for even just 5 minutes then all my problems and anger would go away the second I saw them. I really do think all this anger comes from the fact that I don’t have them with me, and since they’re gone I don’t know how to manage it because they could take care of it way better than I could. I feel like I’ve gone completely insane without them. I miss them so much and I just want all this pain to go away, but it can’t go away until they come back and I don’t know how much longer that will take. I don’t know how else to deal with the anger. If I tried talking to that person then I would end up sounding blunt and rude so they’d end up getting sad and I’d just feel more terrible than I already do. I need help, but I don’t know how to ask or what to say when it’s offered. I feel like I have to accept that no one’s gonna come and save me from all of this, so I’m just gonna have to deal with it all myself. Maybe it’s better that way though, because if anyone tried helping me then I might just get angry with them too and it wouldn’t help at all. -🎭