Hi. This is basically a rant post, but if you've ever been in the same/similar situation, please feel free to let me know! I hope there I'd no judgment here. So I'm a 17 year old female. I suffer from ptsd, fibro, severe anxiety and depression, etc. I'm staying at my dad's for a few days because my mom and I got into a small argument and needed breathing time. I feel like tonight, my dad has just been trying to pick a fight with me. Telling me that I have never stuck up for him, especially during my parents divorce. That I don't actually like him and I'm just there to get something out of it. I'm I never do anything for him. And even went as far to say that I've never had to deal with and "actual" problems in my life. That the whole thing has just been a breeze. He treats me like everything my mom does/has done is my problem and that I need to get involved and do something about it. Am I wrong for telling him that I don't want to get involved in their issues? I swear I've played out every scenario in my head and it always ends with me losing one or both of them.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
You are dealing with a lot for your age. I was constantly put in the middle of my parents divorce and it hurts a lot. I tried telling them to keep their divorce issues to themselves. One parent agreed and that was it but the other got angry, blew up, and didn’t stop. So I started removing myself from the situation whenever that parent would start to talk about the other or the divorce. I hope you can find something that helps and will get through to him!
I agree with you, this is not your problem to get involved with. I went through similar from age 15-20. You are a child & your parents should be supporting you, not being in you down so you experience stress because of their adult problems. I’m sorry you are experiencing this because stress exacerbates Fibromyalgia and mental health regression. Do you have a counselor/therapist to discuss with because as you know you can only change your response. maybe have a session including parents so you can express yourself to them with a mental health professional’s guidance may be helpful.
Step back and put yourself in your Dad's shoes for just a moment, maybe he's going through depression too and he's lashing out at you because we always lash out at the ones closest to us.
It is not your job to protect your dad from your mom. They are adults and should be supporting you. Divorce is messy and tensions run high. Even if both parties agree the divorce is the best option it’s a tough adjustment for everyone involved. Feeling like a failure and lonely and lots of other emotions.
Have you tried telling your dad what it makes you feel when he puts you in the middle?
Do you have a friend or other family member you can spend a night or two with to get a break?
You are not wrong at all. I'm 42 and I still tell my dad to leave me out of any arguments or issues that he has with my mom. They've been divorced for 40 years but he still loves her. I actually avoid my dad because things are not the greatest between us. He was abusive when I was growing up.
Honestly honey you're still a child ( to me anyways) and you don't need to be involved in their relationship. Try sitting him down and having a talk with him. Tell him that he's the parent and your the child and your NOT going to be involved in any part of their relationship and if he has a problem he should take it up with your mother not you. You're not responsible for anyone else's feelings but your own so if he feels like you don't like him that's on him not you. It's not fair to you that he trying to put you in the middle of it and saying those things to you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Sending love and positive vibes your way ❤️❤️
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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