Struggling with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Thanks ladies…. I have just been so scared… I will start them tonight and let you all know… because I literally feel like I am spinning out of control I can take care of my baby with no problem I just can’t deal with the everything else around me my husband is always at work and of course if I am irritated or off my rocker by time he comes home because All I do is stay home all day every day with a screaming 14 month old and a now 2 month old…. I am bitching to him …. I have even tried to tell him I feel like I am drowning or i need a break he doesn’t care…. Because I don’t do my wifely duties…. Like I told him before by time you get home I am wore out…. I am just ready for sleep that seems like the only place I get peace at…. Before my last 2 sons my 3 yr old passed away in 2019 so I suffer from sever depression sever anxiety sever ptsd then had Cayden in 2021 got ptsd and had Cassius in 2022 and still didn’t have my ppd from Cayden or the depression from my other son passing under control. I went to some many doctors they just wanted to keep me a zombie so I wouldn’t do anything crazy I gained 75 pounds in no time so a 5 foot person at 175 so I moved the next dr was like oh no we have to get you off of all of this there’s no reason for all of theses meds and the weight gain is to much but I kept telling her that the meds I was on wasn’t helping so I switched drs to my new doctor and now I am literally horrified to start them I even went as far as buying a pill holder and organizing everything… even broke them in half for the first 2 weeks then my normal dose for the next 2…. Every time I reach for it I start sweating and get scared and put it off for another day…

I've been there, trust me when I say you want to take your meds as soon as possible before it gets worse. Mine escalated to psychosis eventually and it was horrible to try to take care of an infant while feeling absolutely insane. Maybe try to set it up so that someone can help you out the first few days you take the meds so if it does make you feel strange, it won't be affecting your baby's care.

You can do this! I've definitely been there, and it's scary. If your meds make you feel weird, you can try a different kind. It's very normal to need a couple tries. You can do this! Your baby loves you and will patiently wait for you to feel your best 💕