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Feeling Ignored and Dismissed with RA and Depression

MommaTay

718d

I've had RA since I was very small. This and last year it seemed to get a lot worse. This past weekend I got sick AND got one of the worst endo periods I've ever experienced in my years.. I can't catch a break. My depression has gotten a lot worse as of late as well, I feel alone. I feel ignored. Unimportant. I feel like I'm looking for attention, Ik I'm not. Ik how I feel about it But Jesus, why does it seem like everyone's feelings matter but mine!? I'm always there for people, always listening and opened minded and judgment free. But when it is my turn, I get dismissed and told how I should feel. Oh just be positive, don't overlook my feelings. I hate all this false validation - I tend to just shut down bc I'm so used to being ignored anyway...

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11

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Abdominal Distention

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Generalized pain

Low Mood

Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA)

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Top reply
    • Gigi0501

      710d

      Your post really resonates with me. Feeling alone with chronic illness feels like the worst part sometimes. Just letting you know you’re not alone ❤️

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    • Gigi0501

      710d

      Your post really resonates with me. Feeling alone with chronic illness feels like the worst part sometimes. Just letting you know you’re not alone ❤️

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      Reply
    • RAgirl

      717d

      ❤️

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    • Rachi

      718d

      I agree with you 100% I say I am not up to doing something tonight and the response I get is suck it up we haven’t seen you all week. Or don’t worry we will pick you up (I have trouble driving lately) but they don’t get it fully! My mom has experienced unfortunately chronic pain and gets it to a point but I feel like the rest of my family and my husbands don’t get it all! I am supposed to leave Friday to head to drive to my in-laws (18 hour drive) and I was planning on flying back 3 days later to be at my doctors appointments and I truthfully don’t think mentally or physically I can do it! My spouse agrees but then blames it on my health to his mom who I don’t think gets it! She keeps trying to get me to go to get chiropractor and get on supplements which I have tried in the past! I am right now flaring so Bad I don’t think any of that would work! How would you handle family pressure to just suck it up when your legs and ankles are swollen to 3X normal size and almost everyone of your fingers has psoriatic arthritis and they burn and bleed! And then on top of that your stomach is completely messed up and in pain!! I need someone who gets it!

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      • MommaTay

        718d

        @Rachi Jesus I'm so sorry. It's crazy just how dismissive and inconsiderate ppl can be to the ones they love. I'm sure our families mean well but in the end they're not listening, it is very hard to have a disease that isn't always visible. Fuck em! Your health comes first if they can't understand that then they aren't there for you! I feel like even my partner sometimes gets it but then forgets and I basically have to keep reminding him about it when I'm in pain bc I don't want to seem like I'm using it as a crutch but I cannot physically do everything by myself anymore. My body is so weak I lock up and have spasms everyday now and that shit isn't fun.

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        • Rachi

          718d

          @MommaTay I know the feeling so much! I am so lucky to have him though he has been with me for 11 years 3 surgeries and wheel chair for a year and has supported me all the way! It just sucks because sometimes he definitely blames things he doesn’t want to do on my pain! Or he will joke like well why isn’t dinner made and I couldn’t move all day and he knows that!

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    • Rachi

      718d

      I feel exactly the same way! I have 3 siblings who are completely healthy and I think they look at me I’m trying to get attention but I have real physical problems! It is causing me to have real anxiety and depression since this flare started! I am also almost 40 have had RA for over 20 years and endometriosis and been in menopause for over 10 years now! I feel like they look at me like I’m less than them bc they have children and I can’t! This last flare has been very bad and mentally not thinking they get it at all is also bothering me! I have to avoid family gatherings bc I’m not feeling well and the last thing I want is for my nieces and nephews to think their aunt is sick or not cool! I have recently started falling a lot due to my RA and had both my knees replaced last year and my sister who has a 6 month old now is afraid of me holding him even!!!!! I get it completely

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    • MagickalRebel

      718d

      Toxic positivity when you just want someone to help you make you feel heard isn't as easy as you wish it could be. I'm sorry you are going through some tough times, I hope things can subside and give you some rest.

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      • MommaTay

        718d

        @MagickalRebel That means a lot, thank you 💕I just need some peace.. 😅

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        • MagickalRebel

          718d

          @MommaTay I can totally relate to that,🙌 I took the day yesterday and just refused to make plans with anyone and just had my own day. Sometimes it's stressful or almost impossible to do so..but I hope you get a moment. ❤️

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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