Are you on meds or in therapy? I've been there and to some extent still am. I've been through a lot in life with my health and I know suicide isn't a viable solution. I'm lucky that I have a supportive family, but still lonely and often too in my head. Good luck to you, this ish isn't easy.

I see a councilor and a psychiatrist and am on meds but I have no friends

Sorry to hear that, I have a few friends but often find it difficult staying in touch. Do you work? Are you able to try and make friends through work or religious functions, or just become a regular at a restaurant or bar and meet people that way?

I do work and have tried restaurants etc but I’m an introvert and find no value in surface relationships I’m afraid I’m to complex for most