Coping with Self-Acceptance

Routine routine routine. I have to stick to my routine or I cannot cope. You can’t just sit there, you have to do something. Shower, color, watch TV, etc.

i remember I’m a person. i can lift my own are up and stomp my own foot down. What is life? if you stood outside right now what is around you. not you. it’s a tree. it’s grass. it’s the sky. you are just in this world. nothing needs to matter unless you let it. you are a being of life. you lay in a bed it’s you in the bed. you are you. what is it that you want to be? i journal and make lists. what color are my eyes, what color is my hair, what is my favorite color, what is my favorite food. I make a negative list my eyes are not blue. my hair is not blonde. my favorite color is not green. so does that have to mean anything? what are you supposed to be? it’s hard to think and remember to just be you. but sometimes it makes it easier when you know who you are. questioning the change you need identifies that something is lacking. what’s lacking? so you have for example short hair? you want it long ? can you grow it out? Ok yes. You have brown eyes? You want them to be blue? well look up celebrities that have brown eyes. do their features have to be you? I’m not sure if that helps. just remember all you are to this world is you. thoughts are thoughts. work is work. you chose who you talk to and what they mean to you. They aren’t you. so it’s important to think, what is lacking that you want to change about you? why and how will this make a difference to you.

This cuts me to my core. I have no fucking clue. My coping strategies aren’t the best. I smoke a lot of weed and listen to a lot of podcasts, music, tv, audio books, anything external that’s not my own thoughts to run from the hell scape that is my mind. I’m truly sorry. I feel for you. I wish I knew

Actually*

I cope by remembering that I have every right and freedom to actally change who I am.