KittyRosa

62d

I feel like a fraud, maybe imposter syndrome 🤷‍♀️ context and request for advice .... I have a friend, a really good and close friend. He and his girlfriend are having troubles and he has been confiding in me. I have been giving advice and my inout.. until he told me one thing that is a major deal breaker for romantic relationships for the both of us: we are both polyamours and his girlfriend is monogamous, he doesn't see her as a besting partner and lately she has been pushing for marriage and settling down. I went from being supportive and helping figure this out to there is no future in having a romantic relationship for them without resentment growing. He has stated clearly he can't be happy without being polyamory and she has stayed she cant be happy with polyarmory and would feel hurt and be unhappy..... anyways qhere my fraud feeling is coming up. I FEEL like I am telling him they should end any romantic thing sbetqeen them because they want different things for my own selfish reasons... I KNOW I am not. They have both stated their feelings and want different things and for either one if them to try and change that would grow resentment over time.... but no matter how much I go over the logical facts and continue to eb supportive and caring... the fraud voice in my head is screaming at me I am liying for my own selfish reasons. Any advice on making it stop?

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Imposter Syndrome

Intrusive thoughts

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

View all
  • David1212

    56d

    Hi, I don't understand why you think you are a fraud? From the story you told, I feel that you gave the best recommendation you could have to your friend based on what both of you believe in. It would be difficult to choose to live in a monogamous relationship if he is polyamorous. In the end, there is no question of selfish reasons here because even if you were to advise him for these reasons, the decision and choice to continue or finish the relationship are solely his, Therefore anything you say won't really change until he makes the decision, and it will already be for his reasons and not yours.

    • KittyRosa

      56d

      ❤️ thank you. That is what he said when I told him I felt like one. He said he had been thinking it for a while but didn't want to admit it

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