Reconnecting with a Toxic Person

I heard recently that self-sabotaging is trying to give yourself a semblance of fake control over you or your life. 🤔

I've told my husband about texting him, he was upset but didn't say much because he has a friend I don't like and didn't want to be hypocritical. I haven't told him about the thoughts or dreams because I feel like hell see it a romantic thing?

I have been in a very similar situation and I have to agree with previous comments that you NEED to keep your husband in the loop. I've sabotaged myself a lot by not being open about things like this and thinking about it now hurts because I see the damage I caused. It's okay to forgive people, even to keep a distant(not close enough to do whatever happened last time again) but nice friendship with this person but only if you are very transparent with your husband. It's really okay though.

People who have been traumatized tend to have self sabotaging behaviors. And I would hate for this to mess up the relationship u have with ur husband. I would suggest being open about it with him as hard as that might seems. A really good book to read is " The body keeps the score" ( it has blue cover on it). This helps explain those self sabotaging behaviors in the first chapter.

Forgiveness is key to moving through so so much anger and anxiety and overall negative repressed feelings, so good job there. Without knowing more of the details, I'd just advise you to keep your husband in the loop and be open and honest with him and see how he feels about the situation.

You are choosing to intentionally sabotage yourself and hide things from your husband. Take some time to consider your priorities. Sometimes you need to let people go and focus on what you know is right.