Struggling with Endometriosis Diagnosis

i am really struggling with my endometriosis diagnosis. it’s not something new, this has been talked up by a dr since i started my period at 12 but hearing it as an adult has been so hard. i don’t want kids right now but i feel like if i dont start atleast trying now, im never gonna get them. i feel really out of control with myself mentally and physically and im so tired of hurting, atleast so bad, everyday. i have so much anxiety that this will ruin my relationship in the future when we decide to have kids, i know surrogates and adoption exist but i want to so badly have a little me too:/ i want to experience carrying it. the whole news about this has just been eating me alive because of all the “what ifs”