Katelyn163

178d

How can I go about telling my mom I want a new therapist? I've been with my current therapist since I first got diagnosed with my conditions. I've tried speaking to her before about how I want a new therapist because I feel that my current therapist isn't helping as much as I want it to. After I told her I wanted a new one she started yelling at me saying how long we've been with the same one and how it isn't her fault that it isn't helping. I want help, I really do, I'm trying my hardest, just, I don't know how else to bring it up to her without her getting mad. During pretty much every session my mom is right there next to me out of the camera frame so I don't really have much courage to bring it up to my current therapist without my mom finding out.

Mental disorder

Depression

Panic Disorder

Social Anxiety

View all
  • Gwinny

    178d

    Hmm sounds like your mom is taking things extra personally. Maybe she feels like she's failing? I don't know your mom but could you maybe take the time to write her a note? Tell her your feelings, remind her she's doing her best and that sometimes therapy (and even other doctors) don't jive well with all patients. I had to change doctors many times to find one that listened to me and actually helped. I'm not sure if it will help to write her a letter with more detail and logic/reasons in it but it was my first thought. Good luck. *Hugs*

    • Katelyn163

      178d

      thank you for the reply I appreciate it so much! I will definitely try that. Thank you!! 😭

  • anemone

    178d

    the red flags in this post are blinding! that's not a normal reaction, on your mom's part... you can always ask your therapist to have a session without your mom in the room - do you have any other way of contacting them, like email, patient portal, or text? you could ask them to tell your mom they want to do a session with only you in the room. and frankly, i think the issue might be that your mom is in the room with you during those sessions, because that was a huge issue for me early on in my journey. i recommend trying some sessions with your current therapist but without your mom in the room

    • Falafel

      178d

      could you write a letter ahead of time and slip it to your therapist on your way out, or leave it on the seat you were in? It seems like your mom is part of the issue tbh.

      • Falafel

        178d

        That was for @katelyn163

  • Katelyn163

    178d

    thank you for the reply and giving me advice on what to do I really appreciate it. Usually it's my mom that keeps in contact with my therapist and psychiatrist, I honest don't think that she'd be okay with me contacting them without her. And I would email them if I could but due to their system and security reasons they don't accept emails from outside their organization. And honestly, I'm terrified of asking if I could do the session alone. This is primarily because my mom in the past has been diagnosed with PTSD and I know that if I tell her that I want to do the session alone she'll get offended and start defending herself while yelling at me, and that just causes hella more anxiety..

    • anemone

      170d

      that's why i recommend doing it in a stealthy way and getting your therapist to be the one to ask - my mom is the same, she has childhood trauma, gets defensive easily and always wanted to be very in control of my care - and i was never able to ask her to leave the room for similar reasons. but being in the theraputic environment in such a stressful way has actually contributed to my issues more than 5 years later. my only relief from that pressure was when my therapist would ask to have the session private and i could FINALLY tell them all of what i had wanted to say without my mom present (and ask the therapist if they'd tell her that again next time, lol). i highly recommend it. it's definitely possible that you're just with the wrong therapist, but if the issue really is the pressure of having your mom present (and not being to say all of what you want to because of the potential consequences) then changing to a new therapist won't make any difference. i wish you luck

  • Falafel

    178d

    Also, you can outgrow a therapist. We don’t live in a sedentary world; it’s always shifting just like our needs 💕

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