Lilidoodles

17d

I’m a sexual assault survivor and I had thought I was doing better with it but November through early February always sort of reminds me of it and I’ve been struggling with something semi TMI because of it recently. If this is too TMI for this platform please let me know and I’ll take it down.
I’m in a healthy relationship with my girlfriend now and we are fairly actively sexually and I really haven’t had any issues with it. I enjoy being intimate with her and she’s great to me, but in the past week or so the idea of anything bc sexual makes me wanna vomit. It’s making me feel just disgusted with existing and almost sick and I find that really upsetting because intimacy is something my girlfriend and I mutually really enjoy. I don’t know what’s going on with me and I just wanted to get y’all’s thoughts. Thanks :)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Sexual Trauma therapy

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  • PopDog

    17d

    hi i completely get what you’re going through. i either can’t even think about the idea of anything intimate without feeling horrible or i’m the complete opposite. there’s never any in between. i’m still trying to figure it out myself but i spoke about it with my boyfriend towards the beginning of the relationship and we talked about how he can help to make sure i feel comfortable. finding other forms of intimacy is helpful, for when sexual things make you feel awful. finding an easy way of letting your girlfriend know how you feel, without needing to go into detail or think too much about anything that might be triggering, could lessen any pressure you might subconsciously feel. these are just what i’ve done but i’m still trying to figure it out myself :)

  • Unicornslayer27

    14d

    I can understand that im still trying to figure it out myself with my sexual trauma with my bf and don't really know how he can help when I feel uncomfortable about sexual things with him

  • IndigoBro

    14d

    My advice is don’t force yourself to go through with sexual activity that you “normally like” when you’re feeling poorly. It doesn’t mean you’ll never get to feel that way again, in fact learning to listen to what your body is trying to tell you and actually act upon it is a good way to improve your sexual experience. It’s normal to sometimes struggle with those feelings, it’s part of healing. When you notice you’re starting to feel that way, try asking for a hug (if you’re comfortable). Sometimes being able to open those conversations and feel supported just once is enough for your body/psyche to feel safe enough to be sexually intimate again, because you fulfilled the need for safety. Ignoring it repeatedly makes it worse. Do you and your girlfriend do “aftercare” after sex? I highly recommend for SA survivors, and everyone. Chat about what went well, what you liked and what could be improved. Maybe it’s along with an activity you do together as a ritual, puts the pressure off of the talking. Great way to improve sex, communication, and your relationship. It can also help you identify triggers, which can be hard in the heat of the moment. My last advice is if receiving is a big problem, try switching to giving only for a satisfying and less complicated sexual experience. It’s a good trick to maintain intimacy when you want that but are struggling.

    • IndigoBro

      14d

      Don’t use my last advice too much… inability to lose control makes for not a very quality sex life

    • Lilidoodles

      6d

      I just saw this, I apologize! She definitely does typical do aftercare type things. She’s great about helping me be comfortable with myself and I am feeling better about things now. I appreciate everyone’s advice <3

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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