brenlan

312d

does anyone else feel this way?

i feel very uncomfortable in social situations outside of my fam. i’m highly sensitive to being negatively judged by others. i’m extremely shy and fear ridicule. i cannot take risks or try new things. i have no friends that i can talk to, i feel anxious even to talk to people online. i hate posting anything on social media; what if they hate my story or picture? what will they think about me? i might look like an idiot. i think i’d feel better if people do not know my existence. when teachers ask questions individually, i literally pray “please don’t say my name, please don’t say my name”. and when my name gets called and i have to stand up, my body shakes, my legs tremble, my heart beats as if it would burst in few seconds. even though i know the answer, i just can’t answer it confidently. after answering, i think for weeks about the incident and feel ashamed. when im just sitting there, i think: what if something wrong with me? how am I dressed? is everybody watching me? do I look ugly? etc. i do not have a single friend that i’m able to tell how i feel. if I speak, what if they judge me? But being quiet is also not an easy task. I feel awkward. everybody is talking and i’m just sitting quietly, listening. i want to share so many things but i can’t. so many of my fellow students are in a relationship. but for me, forget relationships, i could not even make friends that i like.

Avoidant Personality Disorder

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  • Margaret4

    272d

    i’m late to this post but i feel the exact same way

  • cloversage

    177d

    I resonate with everything! And I always feel as though nobody feels social anxiety to the extent that I do. But it’s debilitating and it makes it difficult to do anything—make friends, get a job, even interacting with family outside of my immediate family. The majority of my friends are people I’ve met online and even the ones I did meet in person I only talk to online because I moved away. I have no friends where I currently live because socializing is too mentally draining. I totally understand how you feel. However, I can say that over the years I have discovered that there are so many people out there that feel the exact same way I do. We’re all just hidden away in our anxiety so its hard to know how someone feels. You are not alone!

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