The obsessive thoughts 😣

Also obsessive thoughts. Very horrifying, negative thoughts

the way it takes up all my time and energy when I could be doing other things. I ask myself, do i really want to pick at my skin for an hour, or would i rather watch another episode, or draw, or read, or text a friend ?

if its about intrusive thoughts though, I hate that it takes me out of the moment. it scares me. it takes advantage of the parts of me that are vulnerable. it forces itself in between me and my loved ones. it makes me either scared of them or myself

That I will re organize things at 2 am even when I am exhausted and need to sleep. And that I will wsnt to spend quality time with my boyfriend but can't bc I have to organize something because ifs giving me anxiety.

The way I tell myself that it’s my fault I’m thinking these things/faking ocd.

The hardest part is how it interacts with my other disorders. Especially my bipolar disorder. Makes me so much more paranoid about my obsessions

When I can’t stop thinking about someone I love but it will never be possible. It’s excruciating.

I hate that I always have this baseline of stress that can really make any additional stress impossible to deal with. But my treatment has been working so I know that over time my quality of life will improve!

Honestly it's the hardest mental battle I've ever gone through. It's so exhausting and terrifying. Especially when it's untreated.