Ambiguous Mood States and Mental Health

now that im medicated and probably almost in remission for bpd i realize that i end up in these ambiguous mood states. the autism probably doesn’t help lol but sometimes i wake up and.. nothing. i want to do things, NEED to do things, but i can’t bring myself to. i vacillate between doing something (literally anything) and not wanting to. i spontaneously cancel plans, i avoid people. my brain feels like if you poured different colour liquids into a glass of water and stirred it. fuzzy, ambiguous, almost no thoughts at all. a lingering feeling of sickness.