I take medicine that helps with depression. But since I’ve been depressed for so long that not feeling depressed feels sort of alien. It’s not very happy for me, idk how to explain it. I feel comfort in being depressed.
This tumblr post summarizes it way better than I can. I hope it helps 💕
I have...had... a therapy dog. RIP Lady (14 March 2006 to 06 Dec 2020). I have my puppy ginger, but she isn't Lady
I think that's normal. Our brains will find comfort in what's most familiar to us, even if it's something negative. I hate being depressed, but still, that feeling makes me feel the safest because it's what I'm most used to. Happiness isn't very familiar to your brain yet, but you'll get used to it and eventually find comfort in being happy and know how it really feels to be happy.
Same its just a matter taking your own time and moving at your own pace. What i did was when o realized that i was enjoying myself or not in a depressive mood i woild take the time to step back and truly feel my emotions and even now i still get like this and revert to being depressed because im the most confortable with that emotion
For me, I've decided that the depression feels so set in stone because much of it stems from the migraines and fibromyalgia. When I get excited about feeling less depressed, it is usually because those conditions are controlled.
Then when they flare back up the depression gets bad again. So I've made a sort of neutral peace with the depression. It is reacting logically to the situations I find myself in in life. The goal for me is to write new thought processes and behaviors that seek ways to be joyful consistently even when the pain is flaring.
I have been so depressed going on 2 years, it's really taking a toll as far as feeling motivated to talk about anything else other than what's hurting me. I want to make new connections but my social anxiety floods me when I make efforts. Trying to remember to live in the now and not give up.
Another thing to be mindful of is knowing that depression literally blocks out happy memories while it's more active. (This is straight from my very skilled therapist) Depression wants to be right, so it scrambles the hippocampus - where memories are stored - so the only things you remember are the bad ones. Even when you look at pictures of good events in the past, you can't remember feeling the good of it.
When depression subsides, it takes a long time for these memories to detox enough to come back. It's like there is a gap for a long time which may be why you feel empty without that depression. It's addictive and rewires you.
I'm not perfect by any means, but things have gotten so much better with constant work and journaling in my phone at random times (no more than a minute). I recommend Dailyo for journaling to see what you're feeling and when.
Two books that helped me are "The Emotion Code" and "The Body Keeps the Score."
Keep going! We are all in this together.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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