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4byfour

458d

I’m really sick of this. Idk how much longer I can do this for. Like, why haven’t I killed myself by now? _why can’t I get myself to want to_. I spent maybe 7 hours with family members, it went well, but I just felt lonelier and lonelier and lonelier. And I know my family sees it. And that makes me feel even worse, because they won’t do anything. They don’t want the backlash. What’s the point? I live alone and can’t connect with any partners. I hurt my friends for the same reason, and they all just have superficial relationships with me. That’s all they can have with me and I’m a toxic friend for it. I’m a horrible family member. I won’t be fixing it. So why am I still here? I obviously don’t want my life to mean anything.

Top reply
    • kittty

      458d

      I'm sorry you're going through a solitary feeling period, I feel like I have too for the last two years. It's a sucky feeling but it's a good time for self examination and journaling--if you feel like your relationships have toxic elements, it's likely something your body is doing to protect yourself, and observing your behaviors and reflecting on them is helpful to decide if they're serving you or not!!! Wishing you well, please stay safe tonight <3

    • SecondChance

      458d

      Umm you like trucks... that's good to live for. I HATE THE SUICIDAL ME. SOME TIME HE COMES OUT AND I go to the hospital.

      • 4byfour

        457d

        @SecondChance wdym about trucks? I actually don’t like them XP and that suuucckkkss. I think I understand. Last night I was just about ready. I guess our minds can change their own minds with enough time :/

    • kittty

      458d

      I'm sorry you're going through a solitary feeling period, I feel like I have too for the last two years. It's a sucky feeling but it's a good time for self examination and journaling--if you feel like your relationships have toxic elements, it's likely something your body is doing to protect yourself, and observing your behaviors and reflecting on them is helpful to decide if they're serving you or not!!! Wishing you well, please stay safe tonight <3

      • 4byfour

        458d

        @kittty thank you that’s some wise sage advice.

    • busy_bee

      458d

      Please please don't make any plans to hurt yourself ❤️ I'm glad that you're here. It sounds like things are pretty hard right now but right now is also temporary

      • 4byfour

        458d

        @busy_bee thank you for the message.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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