Struggling with BPD and Trust Issues

Lately I have been working the hardest on my BPD symptoms that I ever have before. I’ve built a new life with a job, friends, and relationship. I don’t want to lose these things that I’ve worked so hard to build and it’s been my biggest motivation to get better. What sucks is that my BPD still gets in the way of being able to form genuine friendships. I feel so trapped in this. I just don’t trust anyone. I check the facts and constantly talk logic to myself but my brain and body are physically reacting to me not trusting others. It makes it extremely difficult to get close to people and it also tends to put others off if they don’t know about or understand my condition. I am trying to use DBT to navigate this but I’m struggling. I’m so depressed and I feel so alone. I’m convinced everyone hates me and is faking when they’re being nice. My trust/abandonment issues are completely preventing me from living a full life and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been out of therapy for way too long now because my last one wasn’t good and it took a while for me to find a new one. But I’m going once a week again, starting tomorrow. I’m not really even sure what I’m asking for here. I’m just really sad and hopeless right now😞