justabun

30d

This might be long and specific, but I could really use some perspective about jobs and depression if anyone has a kind moment to spare.

Long story short, I graduated college in 2020 when the world exploded and all the jobs I’ve had since have been crazy messed up. Right now I’m technically in marketing for a small business, but I am barely given part time hours by my boss so I make maybe $300/wk. The only good things are sometimes I can work from home and it’s the field my degree is in.

I have PTSD from an abusive relationship in 2020 and severe depression even though my life quality is overall better than it was, and my boss is really triggering to me and with other life stresses I am declining. My boss doesn’t keep her word or show consideration for the lives and schedules of others, and can be extremely mean because it’s such a small business, and at this moment I cannot tolerate confrontation so I just take it. I used to have coworkers but it’s just me now. I cry on the 10 minute drive there and back every day.

I’m conflicted because I want to leave. Before my degree I worked in childcare for nearly a decade, in preschools and private situations. I miss it so badly, but it’s not what my degree is in. I have considered going back many times but pressure from my family kept me corporate. Now, I’m extremely broke with no insurance anyways because of how my boss manipulated things - I would literally make more hourly nannying so it makes sense financially. I just started therapy because I am in very bad shape mentally and we agreed I need to leave. I also got my family to support whatever choice I make by explaining how hard of a time I have had. I think I should start applying to childcare jobs, but I am so intimidated by the unknown.

What would you do if you were me? How can I give myself permission to break away from expectations when I’m already so tired and burnt out? Thank you so much if you read.

Depression

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • brit23

    30d

    I feel like you need a big break from your current position. I speak from experience when I say I was in childcare for many years and I missed it so much. I quit my job last March (I was a receptionist at a doctor's office) even though it made a lot more money and it was the best decision I made. That place gave me the worst stress and anxiety. I get it where your coming from. You can still get a job later down the road that is in your field but I feel you should go back to working with those kiddos that will make you laugh and smile ever day. I forgot how much that helped me get through my darkest days. If you need someone to talk to you can dm me.

    • justabun

      29d

      Thank you so much for saying all of this, even just hearing another perspective is so helpful. I think I’m going to make a Care.com profile this weekend and start looking! 💕

  • Skylarkbard

    29d

    Your degree doesn't define you. It's (hopefully) given you knowledge, insight, and tools, but it should never be an obligation.

  • Stephaniej12112

    29d

    I've worked for terrible places, and I would quit. But I've also been in the position where I had to work through college at a Walmart pharmacy and it was probably the worst job I ever had. I couldn't quit or I wouldn't eat. Society really likes to wrap our worth into our careers and it's simply not true. I find so many jobs (and bosses) traumatic. I think looking for other jobs that may suit your degree would be great, but finding a job takes a lot of time and work. If you can manage to quit now and do something else or lean on your support for financial help while you find a better suited job, then that would probably be ideal for your mental health. Honestly you don't even have to give a 2 weeks notice if your boss is terrible, just know that you may not be able to use them as a reference later on. Remember that your career and your income do not define your worth.

  • brit23

    28d

    no problem. I was in a dark place last March and there was other things going on but the day I took a mental health day from my job I knew I wasn't going back. The next day I quit. Best decision I did for my mental health. And yes! Care.com is a great start.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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