Can I Change Him? A Reflection on Relationships

he treated me terribly but I still want him back. I think he's capable of changing but he made it so clear he doesn't want to. what was the point? why insist you want a serious relationship when you know you're inconsistent. actually thats just lack of self awareness. realizing he only waited for me because I cut him off with no explanation. sometimes I feel like my spirituality and superstition makes me delusional but that only proves more that everything serves to further. there's always a lesson to be learned. 30 days. maybe he'll decide confronting his demons is worth it for me. he was a perfect distraction from myself though. maybe we were never supposed to be more to eachother. and is it ego or is it a soul tie? twin flame? nothing makes sense but i know its all connected. one day, I'll understand. would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this as well -- anything and everything.