Torn between two guys, what should I do?

Guys, I'm so torn. Im talking to this guy, W, who's super sweet and understanding; he takes time out of his day to talk to me, he communicates, we talk about real stuff- no surface level small talk. He's damn near everything I've ever wanted in someone. Thing is, he lives in another state at the moment. I don't mind saving up to visit him (and vice versa - he doesn't mind, and he HATES my state (used to live here) but he would come in a heartbeat). He makes me smile throughout the day, every time I get a message or call from him, my heart flutters. And this man has such a dominate/doesn't share vibe and I just love that. Then enter J, affectionate "yellow lab video game" boy. Has a son, who's super adorable and really takes a liking to me. J and I started out as friends and slowly developed like a FWB thing over time (before I met W). We all went out to dinner last night, after looking for costumes for Halloween; Me, my daughter, his son and J. Everything just felt comfortable. I was at ease (a feeling I don't get a lot). My daughter and his son got along so well, they loved seeing all the scary things in the Halloween store! They held hand when they walked together and played/conversed really well at dinner. J has a definite dominant side, but is really affectionate in public, sweet gestures, the whole ordeal. Everything just feels comfortable (I guess is the right word?) with them. He walked my daughter and I to our car and made sure we got in safely, texted me when they got home, the whole nine yards. But I feel as though, maybe the type of relationship I have with J is deepening? But I really (really) like W. I don't know if things will end up okay if I choose one, but I would feel absolutely terrible if I continued to talk to the other, should one of them ask me out. On one hand, if J asks me out, I have a sense of belonging and safety I've never felt before. They live nearby, I'd be able to see them on a regular and hang out. But then W is torn, and I would like to continue to have him in my life, even as a friend. But on the other hand, if W asks me out, I'd feel understood, and loved. And I know J would still continue a respectable friendship with me if I had a boyfriend (that wasn't him), but I have no clue how W would feel if I stayed friends with J (because should my relationship with W deepen like that, I would definitely tell him. I don't want to hide that). But what do I do? Part of me wants to just play it out and see where things go with both (and once one asks me out, talk to both of them separately). And part of me feels like the responsible thing to do is to talk to them now and see if that changes anything.