Struggling with conflicting needs in a new relationship

Relationship advice, long post: I've liked a guy for a while. 6 months or so we have been hanging out and getting increasingly vulnerable with eachother, sometimes spending 10 or 12 hrs straight together. This eventually lead to stuff related to a past assault being triggered. Around that time I wanted to talk about boundaries and what helps/hurts. Around that time he wanted to be clearer about his intentions and needs. And ehat he needs most is space to sort some stuff out in his head. Mentioned there's been someone else he has liked on and off who moved back into town and that he isn't looking to date either of us, just wants to isolate and talk with his new therapist and finally figure some important stuff out. And its less him withholding info than he didn't think it was relevant until it suddenly was. So what he feels he needs most is in direct conflict with what I need most. He needed space. But what I need most to heal is consistency, communication, reassurance. He apologized for not communicating his intentions and acknowledged why rhats particularly harmful for me with my past. I dont know where I stand with him. and it triggers a belief that everyone i let a little close, that i trust, will leave. But I know with having a lot of trauma and with being autistic I read things wrong and dating is very hard. Its extremely rare I feel connected to someone, even my friends. I feel like I'm on a different wave length and fighting to be heard and validated. its easy with him. So its hard to give up the idea of connectedness with him. Because the odds really are against me on finding anyone, ever. I think 5% of autistic people find partners? And I already need more patience than most with a lot of trauma and big emotions. I want to tell him that him deciding right after digging trauma up was a good time for him to dip will make me trying things with anyone else worse and really dents my trust in him. But I know he is hard on himself, already feels guilty, and has genuinely needed to set time aside to answer some big life questions for a while. I dont know how to balance respecting my wants/needs/feelings with respecting his too. I know ultimately wr are the only ones responsible for ourselves. But when we get close to others we have a responsible to them as well. He historically has made me feel very seen, heard, emotionally supported. And those weight a lot for me in choosing who is worth the work of keeping around thru communication difficulties. But I wanna tell him I also have some dinted trust in him now... Not that I'll likely hear from him for a while. I feel abandoned at the time I needed consistency the most. And I struggle to read tone and intention and am often overly generous with my love. My philosophy of love is...it gets to shine thr most when thr people we care about fuck up. We don't just walk away when someone hurts us. Thats when we get to help heal and sooth eachother. And I know he is more avoidantly attached and I'm more anxious I just....feel like we heal most in connection with other people not stowed away alone at home leaving the people you let get so close. I've tried dating consistently and haven't had a significant relationship in a decade. I'm very ashamed. And I've never been able to try to approach traumatic things with someone in a redeemly way like this so its a profoundly emotional thing for me and a big loss I haven't been coping with well. Its made it all feel hopeless. Like being homeless and being invited to see people eat dinner together thru a window but not being offered a seat.