See Alike in...

Alike App

Browser

C-PTSD from Peer Bullying and Mistreatment from Teachers

BigDino

684d

Did anyone else develop C-PTSD from environments that aren't as commonly talked about? I was initially admitted to counseling as an adolescent because of my trauma but I suffered from peer bullying and mistreatment from teachers. Public school was a waking nightmare and I can remember being a child and every day feeling like I'd rather be dead than have to go to school. I have a really hard time with people socially now, and a horrible problem with authority. My family is supportive but I just always feel so alone, and like I'm overreacting to my experiences. I've been told before I don't have trauma because everyone gets bullied, and I question whether or not I'm misremembering how bad it was, or that maybe I'm just weaker than everyone else. It's been really really hard having to spend my whole life questioning myself. If anyone else feels comfortable sharing I would be really relieved to know if other people feel similarly.

3

11

11

Chronic Memory Loss

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Acute Anxiety

View all
Top reply
    • Margaret4

      680d

      i can relate to this. i think i have a lot of complex trauma from school. i didn’t experience targeted bullying as much as just being shunned and ignored by my classmates. sometimes people would pick on me but mostly it was like i didn’t exist and i could go the entire school day without saying a word to anyone. only my teachers would acknowledge me. this has left me with significant self esteem issues and not being able to deal with socializing because i get extreme anxiety around other people. so yeah i think you really aren’t alone and it’s not something that gets talked about enough in the trauma-sphere. and this is unrelated but i also suffered sibling abuse from my older brother which tends to get brushed off as typical sibling rivalry.

      0

      Reply
      Chat
    • Margaret4

      680d

      i can relate to this. i think i have a lot of complex trauma from school. i didn’t experience targeted bullying as much as just being shunned and ignored by my classmates. sometimes people would pick on me but mostly it was like i didn’t exist and i could go the entire school day without saying a word to anyone. only my teachers would acknowledge me. this has left me with significant self esteem issues and not being able to deal with socializing because i get extreme anxiety around other people. so yeah i think you really aren’t alone and it’s not something that gets talked about enough in the trauma-sphere. and this is unrelated but i also suffered sibling abuse from my older brother which tends to get brushed off as typical sibling rivalry.

      0

      Reply
    • Hiraeth

      683d

      I don't think there's really anything that I could say that Arctic already hasn't. . . Hm. Ostracism is a form of bullying, too, in case that happened to you too and it doesn't feel "valid". I didn't have any friends at all in school. I didn't have any friends until I was like eighteen or nineteen, and I am waaay behind the curve socially, like I mean I've had to fight for each scrap of social interaction understanding that other people find "intuitive". I seriously doubt you're misremembering how bad it was, and I know it's not because you're "weaker". See, when we go through something that painful our brains don't like it, and filter out the bad memories with trauma-based amnesia. I'm missing whole years, myself, except when I lose control over all those locks. So it's probably that it's worse than you remember and your brain is trying to protect you the only way it knows how! Also, if this helps, our brains (all human brains) don't know how to tell the difference between remembered pain and current pain, so if a memory affects you deeply or "sweeps you away" like a riptide, just please try to be gentle with yourself? I'll talk more if you want me too! Just let me know if you need anything, either!

      2

      Reply
    • lawrah

      683d

      Trauma is different for everyone. It seems like you've been thru a lot. I don't think you're weak.

      1

      Reply
    • Arctic

      684d

      besides my past, though... bullying, especially when long term, can absolutely cause CPTSD. it's honestly disgusting that bullying gets dismissed as much as it does. it's literally abuse. it can take on all forms: emotional, physical, sexual, etc just like abuse from a caregiver can. the only difference is it's (or at least used to be. now with social media, the line between home life and school life has become more blurred) isolated to school hours and is being inflicted by peers your age. a lot of people don't understand how crucial healthy socialization and peer relationships are growing up. when that is taken away from you or never even given to you in the first place, it can absolutely ruin you. it's pretty agreed on that the one common base factor to PTSD or CPTSD is a lack of a support network during and after the trauma. two people can go through the same exact thing and one can come out fine, resilient, and loved. while the other can come out with a diagnosis of PTSD and a horrible mental state. the difference is the first person had people they could rely on to support them and who they trusted to listen to them. the second didn't have a support system and was left to process by themself in isolation. you didn't have a support system at school. and maybe subconsciously, as the bullying continued and didn't stop, you felt betrayed by the people who were supposed to help protect you, like teachers, your principal, and even your family. you say they are supportive, and I'm sure they are, but it doesn't really matter what they did or didn't do to help you. if you ever felt like they left you to fend for yourself at school, that can easily become a grudge and a feeling of betrayal. and trauma is not the event. trauma is the subjective reaction to an event. trauma is not objective as it's inherently subjective. so if you FELT in danger and FELT betrayed and FELT terrified and FELT anything else, that's all that matters. I've read research on domestic abuse and how being a witness to it and living in an environment where you have to witness it can be just as traumatizing as being the one being abused. because there's the implicit threat of witnessing it that that can happen to you too. and you are scared that you could be next. you live in constant fear of the abuse. and so does the person being abused. this is very long whoopsie! but I hope any of this helped in some way. you and your trauma are valid. if someone says otherwise they literally don't know what they're talking about.

      3

      Reply
      • BigDino

        683d

        @Arctic thank you for this reply. It's exactly as you said honestly. My family was aware that I was tormented at school but the only reactions they had were to tell me not to react to bullying or else it would encourage it more (and to punish me whenever I got in trouble defending myself which I'm realizing now probably wasn't the healthiest reaction.) It definitely just feels like a series of environments reinforcing my fears over and over again for years when I think about it, which is pretty indicative of trauma. Just whenever i take a step back and look at the whole of it I always have a hard time validating my experience. I haven't really worked thru this with a therapist yet and probably won't for a while because of lack of access/cost, but I appreciate your comment, I think it's helped me recontextualize some things. ❤️

        2

        Reply
        • Arctic

          683d

          @BigDino I'm really glad you were able to get something from my comment! I understand the feeling of looking back and having difficulty validating yourself. I think that's a really big thing in CPTSD. unlike with PTSD where there's one singular event with a more or less clear beginning, middle, and end, the trauma in CPTSD is much more vague. it's hard to come up with any type of timeline of events, and it all kinda just blurs together. complex trauma is sorta like a poem while simple trauma is like a short story. not to mention the whole dissociation thing. god that makes validating yourself soooo much harder. I don't necessarily have complete amnesia, but I definitely have, like... emotional amnesia? idk if there's a word for that lol. but like, I forget how I FELT in the middle of a trauma or while actively being abused, and I can't access those feelings to their entirety unless I'm triggered into a flashback. so it's kind of like... well I can't remember feeling awful, so it must've not been that bad, right? I definitely recommend working with a therapist who specializes in complex trauma when you do eventually get the opportunity to. I haven't even done that myself yet, but I hope to one day in the near future. good luck!

          1

          Reply
      • Captain_Marvel

        684d

        @Arctic awesome example I can relate

        2

        Reply
    • Dreajane

      684d

      I question myself all the time as well. I have trouble with relationships. I grew up with a borderline mom and sociopath dad - both narcissists. I'm not even that depressed right now with the aid of meds. But the anxiety and the loneliness are sometimes quite overwhelming

      0

      Reply
    • Anxiousboarderline

      684d

      My therapists say my C-PTSD is from bullying, abuse by a teacher, taking care of my very sick mom and unstable/toxic living environment. I never understood how I could have ptsd from my mom being sick but apparently it has a way bigger impact on me than I thougjtb

      0

      Reply
      • lawrah

        683d

        @Anxiousboarderline my ptsd stems from my mom having cancer when I was 7. I didn't understand what was going on but I thought she was gonna die and just knew she was in the hospital a lot. Thankfully she is ok but that was a lot esp at such a young age. Having a sick parent at any age esp if you're in a care giver role is def trauma. I didn't even realize that was the start of my ptsd.

        0

        Reply
    • willownie

      684d

      I wasn't bullied, but I do have PTSD and also struggle with wondering if I suffered "enough." You are valid. Bullying is absolutely one of the things that can lead to PTSD, especially prolonged, extensive bullying that literally made you want to end your life. I'm sorry you went through that, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.

      4

      Reply

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.

Alike health

Instantly get answers to medical questions with our AI, built from the collective wisdom of our community facing similar experiences

Write your question here...

Get answer
Thank you! Your submission has been received!

Related Questions

Find people who are
experiencing a similar
medical reality

join the community
100% Free
100%
Free
Alike is a transformative platform that goes beyond just bringing together patients; it meticulously connects individuals based on multiple critical factors, such as age, gender, comorbidities, medications, diet, and more, fostering a community of knowledge, support and empathy.
© 2020-2023 Alike, Inc
About AlikeWisdomFAQEditorial TeamAll ConditionsAll PostsAll Communities
Your PrivacyStoriesCommunity GuidelinesTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyBlogContact Us

Download Alike for the full experience

JOIN

View All

Bupropion

night sweats

paranoid

Valium

sertraline

palpitations

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

palpitations

Depression

Valium

Bupropion