Struggling with Relapse Urges

Recovery isn't linear. Things don't magically get better. It's takes work and for a while it'll feel pointless, but one of these days you'll wake up and your partner will be in the kitchen humming to themself while they get ready for their day and you'll wonder where all the time went and the sun will come through the blinds and you'll be glad you're here, even after all of this. Happy takes work, but it's not pointless. It's worth working to be proud of who you are.

I understand.. i just recently relapsed and Ive instantly regretted it, and having to hide it is even worse. I know its hard but whats helping me, now is writing things down in a journal or talking to someone about anything when i get urges