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River_KpopLuv

429d

TW: mention of self harm Does anyone else despise being trans sometimes?... Like.. Fuck i wish i was born a guy.. I fucking hate constantly being misgendered and deadnamed at home because i cannot come out as it isnt safe for me to do so.. I just want to be a cis guy... I fucking hate being trans.. I want to be accepted, i just want to feel like me... But i dont think ill ever be able to do that... I fucking hate it here... I just want to be cis male... I cant fucking deal with this anymore.. Im getting really fucking strong urges to fall back into some really bad habits... Ive been clean for 3 months in a few hours from now.. Everything ive done up to this point other than graduating high school has been a complete and utter fucking failure... I just wish everything would stop for at least one day...-River

Top reply
    • River_KpopLuv

      418d

      @Rizbit thank you -R

    • Rizbit

      428d

      I get that it's hard, I'm an FTM. When I transitioned I wound up losing friends, my sister, and my husband of 22 years. I was lucky that I still had my daughter, but I got into a very bad place. I didn't handle it well and wound up in the psych hospital 5 times last year and had many thoughts about how it would be easier not being trans. But now I'm glad I did it. I'm still early in my transition, but I'm happy knowing that I'm getting there. I always get mis-gendered, but I just kindly correct the person and usually they're good after that. Hang in there, stay clean, I have 9 years. If you need to talk message me. It's tough going through this all alone.

      • River_KpopLuv

        418d

        @Rizbit thank you -R

    • MerlinTheWizard

      429d

      Sometimes I wounder if I'm a sham because I'm not androgynous enough

    • MerlinTheWizard

      429d

      I can get that. I kind of feel weird being non binary. Exspesaly when people say stuff like "that's not a real thing". I also kind of gave up correcting people on my pronouns.

      • River_KpopLuv

        429d

        @MerlinTheWizard ive had people say that about me when i said i was panromantic

        • MerlinTheWizard

          429d

          @River_KpopLuv Oh, I'm also Panromatic. Nice

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