As a protector, I feel like I gaslight myself a lot into not noticing my own needs and wants and putting our host first at all times. It doesn’t feel healthy but it feels necessary. How do other protectors out there work through this?

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

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  • keros


    Why do you put your host first?

  • damon


    As both a partial protector and as a protect-ee I would say take some you time every now and again. It's okay to need breaks on the occasion, or buy yourself something nice, and that's just something you have to keep reaffirming for yourself As a protect-ee though I would say be open with the people you're protecting on how you're doing if you're able. It's not always realistic if you're protecting kids, but I know for me personally I go out of my way to find ways to protect my protector back. Like if I can see that he's down I'll do what I can to ease that strain on him. But he has to actively let me in for that to happen yk? Communication is a big part of any relationship and it's still the same thing with DID. Just be open and talk things out sometimes and you'd be amazed what changes can come from it

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