Thixo

56d

CW/TW: Derealization

Sometimes I don't know why I'm doing stuff. It just kinda happens and it's not like I'm trying to do it it just feels inconsequential sometimes?? Like either everything even minor I've ever done is going to affect me now and forever. OR nothings real and who gives a shit anymore right. Like. Don't get me wrong I know the difference between reality and fiction but I dunno sometimes I don't feel like I'm real help uhh

Also my skin picking is getting so much worse gods above I'm trying so hard to stop but it's like the pain and the sensation of the peeling of the skin off of myself and the burning and tension that starts and stops because of it is so calming and soothing . I can't tell why it helps me so much but it's that one OCD sub disorder that I don't remember the name of AAA

Dermatitis factitia

Depression

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • poombuh

    56d

    I also struggle with skin picking, my sister gets so upset with me when I do it, and I just literally can't help it. But I totally feel you on just autopiloting through life. Like you said, either everything is going to have its long-lasting consequence or literally nothing feels real or will affect me at all. I'm always in between those 2 feelings 🥲

  • Lemondrops

    56d

    I definitely relate to derealization. It’s like the days are just kind of passing and forcing you to live and do things daily that isn’t really something you’re actively trying to do? It’s weird and kind of uncomfortable, for sure. Like right now why am I on this app, on my phone, messaging you back. We buy groceries, we use the restroom, we change our clothes, we eat and drink. It’s regular life things. But it’s weird. It’s hard to explain. Idek what I’m trying to say here. But, I relate to your post. And I hope the derealization gets better for you soon

    • Thixo

      56d

      i genuinely completely understand what you're saying in this message,thanks for responding and wishing me the best :)

      • Alyssa_m

        56d

        I also completely understand this and that thought process runs through my head like 5 times a day

  • AnimalBoy

    56d

    My ADHD and autism makes derealization, introspection, and impulse control pretty much non existent but I manage to redirect my skin picking to different stims that dont cause as much damage, not entirely tho the acne and ingrown hairs make it so theres frequently something that does need to be picked at so the urge never really goes away

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