Struggling with Derealization and Skin Picking

CW/TW: Derealization Sometimes I don't know why I'm doing stuff. It just kinda happens and it's not like I'm trying to do it it just feels inconsequential sometimes?? Like either everything even minor I've ever done is going to affect me now and forever. OR nothings real and who gives a shit anymore right. Like. Don't get me wrong I know the difference between reality and fiction but I dunno sometimes I don't feel like I'm real help uhh Also my skin picking is getting so much worse gods above I'm trying so hard to stop but it's like the pain and the sensation of the peeling of the skin off of myself and the burning and tension that starts and stops because of it is so calming and soothing . I can't tell why it helps me so much but it's that one OCD sub disorder that I don't remember the name of AAA