purgatoryslob

237d

School starts in a few days, i haven’t been able to sleep or eat or dream without thinking about it. it’s been days and my stomach hasn’t stopped hurting once. i don’t know what i’m going to do. it’s my last year and i’m so afraid. i’m afraid of going because i feel like i don’t belong, but even more than that i’m so afraid of growing up. i’ve been in this constant state of existential dread and i can’t shake it. what am i going to do when this isn’t cute anymore ? what am i going to do when the people who pretend like they care get tired and want me to just grow out of it. they say it’s a phase and i’ll get better but i know i won’t and i’m scared for when they figure that out too. what am i going to do after school? i cant even remember most of my days and i know it’ll pass so fast and i’ll have nothing to show for it. i’m so caught up in this brain fog and it wont go away. it’s so humiliating not being able to remember anything. the day ends and i couldn’t tell you how it begun. i don’t feel present. i don’t feel here. i feel like i’m far away and i can’t get to where i need to be. i feel like i’m forgetting something really bad and i don’t think i’ll ever remember what it is. i don’t know if i want too.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • KeiXyr

    237d

    Hey. I felt the same. I was so terrified of growing up, and constantly trying to shake the fog and feel conscious, while also feeling so much petrifying anxiety that I couldn't get out of bed. My senior year was 2019-2020. I was trying to come to terms with becoming an adult all year. And then COVID and quarantine hit, and cut my final year off early. I would've expected to die right there but honestly? It was pretty underwhelming for me. I never really panicked. Graduation wasn't the giant horrifying change I expected it to be. Neither was getting a job, I was terrified of that too.

  • KeiXyr

    237d

    Most adults still really see you as a kid compared to them, and you aren't really treated insanely differently, you just kind of have a bit more respect to make your own decisions. Everyone sees you the same, you just don't go to highschool anymore. I also panic because I experience time super fast too. My partner told me to try and focus all of my attention on an imaginary clock in my head, and count the seconds. It helped me a lot.

    • KeiXyr

      237d

      Also highschool pushes the idea that you should have everything figured out right away, but honestly a ton of people have no idea what they want out of life and don't for a very long time. I still have no clue, and I'm 20.

  • Akemi

    237d

    The first step is to take everything a day at a time. The adult world is the same way. Yes it'll seem overwhelming. And some days it'll feel impossible. But if you focus on one thing at a time, take time to breathe and remind yourself how far you've already made it, you'll be OK. And as for thinking people will get tired of it, maybe some of them will. That just means they aren't the right people for your circle. But you will find the right people. And they will make you grateful for every day, even the hard ones. Just be patient with yourself sweetie, and with others. And never be afraid to reach out when you need to. There will always be someone there if you look 💕

  • Kelly1234567

    237d

    Talk to your counselor about getting an accommodation for frequent breaks! When you start to feel overwhelmed you can take a “flash pass” to walk around the hall or take a minute. It’s a really helpful anxiety tool and it helped a lot of my HS students. (I’m 28 taught hs math for 7 years) You’d be surprised how many students feel just like how you feel.. ones you don’t expect. Some people put in a lot of effort hiding it and pull it off.

  • DoodleBug18

    237d

    The best thing to do is enjoy this school year. Enjoy your friends, school events, prom and just enjoy it. Try not to think about what comes after for now. I grew up too fast and every year I see kids enjoying their high school years and am so jealous. I know it's easier said than done but try really hard to just enjoy your senior year. You have the rest of your life to figure out the rest. I'm a 44 yr old school bus driver and that really is the only 1 thing I truly regret was quitting school and getting my GED. I missed out on the best high school years and it really makes a difference when I talk to my friends. As far as the future goes, it's not going anywhere and will be there after graduation. Walmart will even pay enough to get you through a tech school or pay your bills during college. Just enjoy this year and take a lot of pictures, you will never get it back.

  • PlaslyMeds

    237d

    Growing up is terrifying. I’m not going to say it isn’t and anyone who tells you that is a fibber. However, growing up is a constant process. You’ve been growing up since you’ve been born! And just because other people are trying to throw expectations on you doesn’t mean that you have to listen to those or bend to them. I am an adult. I am constantly having to remind myself that my being an adult is not just survival. I can still have fun, I can still feel out and I am still allowed to have bad days. I have to constantly remind myself it isn’t the end of the world. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your fears and you can totally dm me to help you focus on solutions.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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