CinderLorel

45d

Can we stop telling people we are proud of them for doing something as common as college? Especially if they don’t go right after high school. Now it just feels like I was a disappointment for not going and if I drop out it’ll be even worse. Like yes it’s a big accomplishment and we should be proud of our children and loved ones and support, why can’t we do that with out added invisible pressure? I’m so tired and I’m not sure how much more I can take.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

Malaise & Fatigue

Lethargy

Dissociation

View all
  • JPGalerie

    44d

    As someone who has struggled a ton with college I will say it isn't for everyone and that's okay. If you truly don't want to go to college because the field you want to work in doesn't have a degree that's totally fine, lots of people don't and are super successful. If by chance you do want to go to college but are afraid, here is what I've learned. 1) Taking time off or not starting right away is perfectly fine, turns out not that many people care. I'm 23 and still have a few semesters to go. If you need to take time off in the middle or something that's also totally fine. Everyone in college understood. Work on your own timeline, not one that is traditionally thought of. 2) Find out what accomodations your school may offer through disability services. At first I didn't think I would qualify because I was applying for mental health reasons only. I do qualify though and they have been super helpful. Also it can be helpful to see what the minimum credit hours are to be a full time student or even take less than that at a time. You don't need to take 18 credit hours at a time. I burnt out trying to do that and had to take time of. At the end of the day, whether you want to go to college or not is your decision. Fuck what anyone else thinks. I think a lot of the pressure comes from people being afraid someone they care about won't be successful without a degree. Sometimes you just need to get on the ground floor and work your way up. Sure, in lots of fields having a degree may allow you to start at a higher level, but it might not. Do what you think is best for you, not what someone else does. There will always be people disappointed no matter what you choose just don't let yourself be one of them.

    • JPGalerie

      44d

      Sorry thats so long. I just struggled a lot with the same thing and want to share what I've learned through my own journey so others don't struggle like I did.

    • CinderLorel

      44d

      I’m on the back legs of my first semester and I just don’t know if I can do it. I love the feild I’m working towards but mentally I’m not doing great. It’s metal breakdowns week after week. Everyone congratulated me when i applied rather impulsively just before the semester started and said how proud they were. I took out a pretty hefty loan. I did this for me bc I wanted to and I still WANT to. But idk if I can…

      • JPGalerie

        44d

        take spring semester off. I did that, got a full time job (I was able to do this, I understand not everyone can), and felt much better. If you take spring semester off then you get summer to think as well. See how you feel towards the end of that time. If you dont want to go back at the end that's fine. Don't go back. Give yourself time to recharge. Talk to your advisor and again I highly recommend looking into disability services. If you arent already in therapy I would suggest that too

  • PiperGrimm

    44d

    I think all accomplishments in the positive sense should be celebrated.

    • PiperGrimm

      44d

      Even eating everyday or drinking water or basic things. You tried your trying your best. Therefore you haven't failed.

      • PiperGrimm

        44d

        It's much harder to follow your own advice or feel a certain way if you don't already.

  • AnimalBoy

    44d

    I mean no? and saying something isnt worth praise because as "common" as college is kind of a shitty way to put that. College is difficult end of, people who go to and/or complete college deserve to be told that they made their loved ones proud with their accomplishments. For some people high school is that difficult, and they also deserve to feel proud ond be told their loved ones are proud of their accomplishments, and high school is VERY common but that's still true. Taking away other people's positivity and pride over their own accomplishments doesn't actually make your situation any different, instead it would make more sense to want to put more pride and value into non education surrounded accomplishments and accomplishments made at a pace and level that is reasonable and fair to the individual involved instead of pretending that all human beings can and want to go through the exact same milestones at the exact same time. Its understandable that school is hard for you not everyone is cut out for that and it doesn't make you any less or make your accomplishments less important! But if it's making you feel bad that your academic accomplishments doesn't meet the hypothetical projection of everyone else's that just means that you maybe should be focusing on the accomplishments that aren't academic and hyping yourself up over more than just that.

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