Questioning My Faith: Does God Even Care?

I completely understand. I used to be an extremely religious person and within the past 10yrs I’ve had a roller coaster relationship with God. Both my family and my in-laws are very religious. It’s hard when people “preach” to me about God and how’s he has a plan when the people preaching to me have never dealt with severe health issues. I’ve given myself the grace to be ok with not be religious right now, maybe one day I will be again but who knows.

I don't believe in a God anymore, if I'm so loved why the hell am I in so much physical and mental pain? It's not making me stronger, just killing me slowly. I don't believe death is the way out though, there's little things to look forward to and live for. There's nothing wrong with questioning your religion due to your life experiences.

I've had a really hard time with my religion too. Its hard to see rn but it's going to be more clear down The road. I believe in go I just think God is really far away so you prey rn amd he can't hear you till he gets your preyer i think he gets it late and gives you blessings afte. It might not be helpful yo you rn but just know you're not alone I've thought about that so many times.