I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and she always let's me know she loves me, but I'm losing feelings and I haven't been replying to her a lot, I feel like she deserves someone better. but she told me she would off herself if I ever went missing in her life. please help me someone.
Anxiety (Including GAD)
I know she's expressed that she wouldn't cope if you left her life but that's a very powerful emotional blackmail & not very healthy for either of you. If you feelings are changing the best thing you can do is be completely honest and transparent but I'd suggest maybe reaching out to her family or friends to ask them to support her if you do decide to break up. It wouldn't be fair on either of you to stay together if your heart isn't in it and just for the fear of what might happen if you decide to leave. Breaking up or separating is hard especially if it's not a mutual choice but if you feel you're not able to give her your all then it's kinder to consider leaving. There's lots of support out there if she is struggling with her mental health but making sure she has a good support system will hopefully help her if you decide to separate. Hope things work out for you X
I've been through this. He ended up breaking up with me each time regardless but a few times it's been reversed. Make sure they have a support system. Sometimes it hurts them more to continue being together than it does to separate
I feel this. It is your disease. It isn't up to you what she deserves. It's up to her and you are her choice. Don't break up with her. Work through it. Tell her that you feel like a burden. I'm sure she will comfort you and tell you that you aren't. Believe her. It's hard though. Get on meds, get a talk therapist, and be open with her.
there are two things i want to say
one: this is a sticky situation. sometimes, it can be hard to tell if losing feelings in this way is from depression or if you are actually missing something in the relationship.
if you are feeling this way only due to a depression flare, then work on the depression with professionals the best you can. if you are on a medication, it may not be enough, or you need other treatment.
However, if these feelings are still there on a day when your depression isn’t as harsh, then there needs to be healthy conversation about the future of you and your partner. somewhere, needs may not be met for you and it’s important to talk about it. it’s important to be honest, but compassionate and hopefully come to an agreement about the relationship - whether it be to try to mend it or to let it go.
two: your girlfriend may not realize it, but saying things like that can be manipulative. if it is how she truly feels, she also will need professional help for her mental wellness, but it shouldn’t be a responsibility that is solely on your shoulders. as a partner, it is your job to be supportive, but you are not a therapist and should not hold the burden of a person’s entire wellbeing. She may also be sensing your feelings and using that to keep you around.
please keep us updated on this!
Next time she says that, report it. If you're minors, tell her parents, if you can. If not, or if you're adults, tell the police. This is emotional manipulation and it is NOT your burden to bear.
plus, letting someone know will do more good than harm. yes, she could be upset with you for it, but it could be the opening for her to get the help she needs and lower the burden on your shoulders
Saying that to you is emotionally abusive and not healthy. You deserve better too.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
Discover your Alikeness™ with people who are on the same journey, gain wisdom and get emotional relief in a secure & anonymous space.
Scan code or click below download the app