Struggling with Life and Suicidal Thoughts

i've been feeling this lately and i think what helps me at least is just doing things i love. like i felt like total shit and suicidal earlier but then i went to make tea and tend a plant and listen to music and i perked up. it doesn't make everything 100% okay but it makes life a little more worth living and helps you see the positive sides. you also have to forgive yourself sometimes, we people with ocd tend to lash out and have our moments because we're going through so much difficult shit. we just have to learn how to better contain and cope with our anger and frustration, and there's many amazing people out there who will be by your side while you figure things out

may i ask what you meanv