Desperate for Help: Struggling with Mental Health and Relationships

⚠️CW: Mentions of depression, asking for help.⚠️ . . . . . . . . . . . I'm not sure if this is okay. My possible autistic meltdowns were already acting up, so even though other things are acting up now I was hoping I can put this here, instead of the other areas of this app. I'm struggling very badly. I am hoping that I exhausted myself so much from how high my emotions are that I just fall asleep. I'm not sure if I will soon. I can summarize the things. I may be autistic, suffer from ptsd, and other things. The short version is a lot has been going on that isn't exactly good, I've been having I believe many autistic meltdowns, this girl who I love with all my heart started a fight today. The fight is the cause of the desperation for help. I've been in overdrive levels of panic trying to fix this. I didn't get angry or anything back. I just got extremely scared and sad type of upset. I don't know what's going to happen. She fell asleep, so I probably won't until tomorrow. Maybe. I really don't want to go to a hospital. I tried to reach out to a few people I know. One talked to me on the phone, but he had to go to sleep, which I absolutely understand. I'm just trying to find help to keep going. Could I please have company from someone? Please, be over 18 years old. It just feels weird for me to talk to a child when I'm in my 20's. I'm sorry. I was trying to make this short. I don't even remember if this topic and question is okay. If there's a way to delete your own questions, I'll remove this.