Lonelyturtle

59d

Has anyone dealt with a guilt tripping parent? I moved out of my parents house and now it’s constant guilt tripping about how I don’t support my sibling or I don’t visit my parent. I work full time and I see my family once a week. The guilt tripping gives me major anxiety and idk how to deal with it.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • MorganFaire

    59d

    I don't have as many solutions because my situation was such I had to go low-contact, but I feel this /hard/. Please know that at least with my friends they see their parents once a week and they consider it a lot. You recognize it as guilt tripping. You can also give excuses to get a week or so free. Once it becomes less regular there might be less pressure. You're busy at work... Have a company function...

    • Lonelyturtle

      59d

      yeah, that’s true. I think I definitely need to stop giving into the guilt trips.

  • KabaneDaTo

    59d

    🤗 yes my parents like to make everything my fault when things don't go to plan. When I moved out I got unexpected visits which really made me nervous and I went no contact for 2 years. Later on I moved back in with my parents due to a medical mistake issue I had, and as uncomfortable as it is they've had to accept that I have a life outside of their house and they can't always be a part of it. The older you get the more methods of dealing with them you get, like healthy boundaries of distance and saying no to family events that you don't want to attend. I believe you will be able to let your family know where your boundaries lie and that as an adult you have other responsibilities other than picking up after them.

  • tish95

    59d

    Sorry this is happening to you. I recently told my parents I would be moving out because I found a new job. I'm moving in with my boyfriend because it's closer to my new job and they played holy hell so I know how it feels. They wanted me to reject the new job offer and stay in my current job where I am overworked and underpaid. I point blank refused and told them I will not stay somewhere I'm underappreciated and am not valued. Give them time, they'll come round, just be firm and put boundaries in place. Just be like "I have a job, a family and a home to run. There's only so much I can do in a day. If you don't like my choices, the least you can do is respect it" That should be enough for your parents . Best of luck and take care of yourself too 💞

    • Lonelyturtle

      59d

      thank you 💕I’m sorry you had to deal with that! I know it can be tough, take care of yourself too

  • anemone

    59d

    just a quick answer, but i would recommend pulling back a little bit. maybe visit less frequently, don't respond to guilt tripping texts or words (ignore them, and see them as a flaw of the family member sending them instead of yourself). generally, space can heal rifts in a family, and if they refuse to let it do that, that's their choice. they are the one creating conflict by being aggressive, not you for taking space. act based on what you feel you need, not what they try and manipulate you into doing. how long ago did you move out? if it was very recent, it might just take them time to adjust to seeing you less. guilt tripping is usually done unconsciously and is based on a failure to properly process negative feelings, so it's likely they don't realise how stressful it is for you. if you haven't, you might try expressing to them that you're visiting them as often as you can manage and you get stressed when they push you about it. if they choose not to back off or to try and manage their behaviour, that's when you have to set that boundary of not responding to their hurtful words. it's not easy. i only find it as easy as i do after dealing with it for many, many years from many family members. but it is possible and i find that it's the most healthy and constructive way to deal with the issue.

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