Dealing with Childhood Trauma: Overcoming Self-Blame

I go from trying to rationalize their behaviors to blaming myself, and there's not much in between that. Sometimes I can block it out, but it highly influences who I am now.

It’s a work in progress and allowing my self flexibility and patience along the journey has helped me feel a bit better. Learning more about coping and resilience and trying my best to find ways to apply best practices into my daily routine, like eating healthy, exercise and sleep have helped me have a good daily routine and that has been helping me the most.

I totally understand what you are going through. And I hope you start to feel better about yourself! I was adopted when I was 7. Before that however, my foster parent molested me from the age of 18 months until I was adopted. His wife died but it didn't matter if she was alive or not, she knew it was happening and continued to let him do it. Anyway, one of my brother's friends, yes we actually got place there together. His friend abused me as well. But it doesn't end there, after being adopted I was raped, stalked, had domestic violence happen when I was in my teens. So it wasn't until later when my daughter was sexually abused and I walked in on it, triggered my trauma again. I had blocked it out for so long! I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety. I have done 8 years of therapy and recently finished therapy on my PTSD, I recently have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, because before they could not diagnose me with it because the symptoms are to close as the symptoms of PTSD. Anyway, therapy has helped me so much! Have you been seeing anyone to talk about how your feeling about yourself? I would recommend it! Anyway, you can message me if you would like. I can give a listening ear and I will not judge you. Not saying anyone here will.

I felt this way and dealt with theses feelings before and I’m sorry your experiencing them 😓 I used to blamed myself sometimes but deep down I knew I did nothing to deserve this and everything that happened wasn’t my fault it was MY parents with their ISSUES that they never got the right help for their problems .

It's messed up because for me, I don't blame myself, but I can't fully let it go either and thats just mentally hindering.

Let me preface this by saying I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, and I can empathize completely.😥 I found out I was adopted when I was very young. It changed who I was. Growing up not feeling like I belonged in my own home was terrible. I lashed out. I was reckless. I made horrible decisions. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions. To make things worse instead of taking me to therapy, my parents took me to the doctor and then came the pills. Birth control at 16 because "my hormones might be out of whack". And then the Zoloft. I didn't have control over my own emotions until I was later into my 20s. And I still struggle with wondering what I did wrong to deserve what I went through. But you have to know whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for the actions of others. It's not fair, and it's never easy. I hope you have a good resource for therapy, and that your treatment is working for you. If it isn't, discuss your options with your medical team. Find a new therapist if you need to. If you're comfortable with it, you can message me any time 💕 I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the mean time 🤗🙏