okay so idk if anyone will relate but i’m really struggling. i have this thing where i get obsessed with people, and rn i’m obsessed with my coworker. he’s a year and a half younger than me, which makes me feel disgusting, but he also does not share the same values as me! like at all. he wears vans so i bought a pair of vans on friday. he listens to country music so i’ve been listening to country music nonstop for the past 3 days. he has a wallet and has his key lanyard thing hanging out of his pocket so i bought a wallet and did that with my keys. i feel so deeply sad and i don’t know why. it’s a combination of me feeling like im in love with him and just wanting to be him. when i think about the being in love with him part, i feel so so sad because he would never love me. i feel like i’m unloveable and gross. that’s not important tho. the important thing is that i am so totally obsessed with him and idk why. i cannot stop thinking about him. he isn’t the first person that this has happened with, it happens probably like once a month on average, but i forget how bad it is. i just feel awful rn and i don’t know how to live


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  • LMD


    I relate. I was/am still kind of obsessed with someone from my college. For me I think it may have to do with how together the person seems, how easily they seem to be able to get through life, how attractive and likable/ popular they are. All things I want to be but feel like I’m not. The admiration becomes infatuation and you subconsciously think that if you do the same things as them and wear the same clothes as they have, etc, that you’ll achieve these qualities and become admirable to yourself and to others. I’ve realized it’s kind of a type of projection, because you see the best version of yourself in them. At least for me, understanding why I was so infatuated with the person helped me to rationalize with myself reasons why I should focus on working on myself instead of focusing so much on someone else. Hope this helps you♥️

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